Have you ever asked these Million dollar questions: Who am I? Where did I come from? What is my purpose on earth? What is my destiny? Before we answer any of these questions first of all we must answer the basic question, who am I? This has to do with our Identity. What is identity? Psychologists most commonly use the term "identity" to describe personal identity, or the idiosyncratic things that make a person unique. A psychological identity relates to self-image (a person's mental model of him or herself), self-esteem, and individuality. An important part of identity in psychology is gender identity, as this dictates to a significant degree how an individual views him or herself both as a person and in relation to other people, ideas and nature.[1] It is the condition of being oneself and not another.
Let me share a story of a seventeen year old male high school senior student whose life was affected by the way he saw himself. “My first year of high school was a particularly bad time. I am adopted and I spent a lot of time thinking and feeling confused about who I was and that I didn’t belong to my family. In my junior year, I spent more time out of class than in class and my grades reflected this. At one point that year, I left home for a month and went to stay at a friend’s place. I remember around this time my attitude was really negative, and I seemed not to care about anything at all. All of this came as a bit of a shock to my parents, and they contacted the school counselor. All of this just confirmed to me that I was “mixed up” and not particularly nice to be around.[2] Erik Erikson a famous Psychologist described this “mixed up” the Identity crisis. This identity crisis could occur during teenage years in which people struggle between feelings of identity versus role confusion.[3]
Another fifteen year teenager reflects her story, "I am three months pregnant. This could ruin my whole life. I have made all plans for the future and now they are down the drain. I do not have anybody to talk to about my problem."[4] Can you imagine the role confusion this teenager must have gone through? These are only two examples of those who are struggling with mixed up identities and confused roles, but there are many who might be hurting, confused and seeking for help. This is where parents, pastors, and church can help them discover their true identity.
Do only teens go through this identity crisis? No! Though according to Erikson it mostly applied to the period of transition in the teenage years when kids begin to define what they will do as adults, and what their values are. It is now thought that an identity crisis may occur at any time of life, or to any body especially in periods of great transition.”[5] Transition or change causing us to feel shaken to the core, can come in many forms. It can be the loss of a family member or the loss of friendship, failure in exams, loss of a role one once held, or the loss of a dream; it can be the abuse of a parent, or a leader or, a betrayal of a friend etc.
Regardless of whether you are young or old, male or female all of us one day must go through losses in life and when we do go through it hurts so badly isn’t? I know what it is to experience a few of these losses in my life and it’s never easy. Why does it hurt so badly? Could it be that our security which was wrapped in our identity is threatened? How can we handle when our core identity is threatened? In the very familiar passage of scripture Matt 4:1-10 we read about Jesus’ temptation in the wilderness. There we see how the enemy challenged Jesus’ Identity by tempting him with three traps and they outline the three false identities or masks that Satan offers each one of us. They also show us the choices we too must make to remain faithful to our God given unique life and identity. Let’s look at these three false identity traps.
I. THE PERFORMANCE TRAP :( Vs 2-4)
Peter Scazzero in his book Emotionally Healthy spirituality calls these traps: Performance, Popularity and Possession. The first trap is the performance trap. Remember, when Jesus came out of the waters after being baptized by John the Baptist the heavens were opened a voice came from heaven saying, “This is my son whom I Love, with him I am well pleased.” In other words, “you are good, you are loveable and I am happy with you. Here Jesus just received the greatest affirmation even before he performed any miracles. Immediately after that he had to face Satan who tried his best to undermine that very position. Matt 4:2-4, “After fasting forty days and forty nights he was hungry. The tempter came to him and said, “If you are the son of God; tell these stones to become bread.” Jesus had apparently done nothing for thirty years. He had not yet begun his ministry. He seemed like a looser.
What did Jesus contribute to the society up to that point? Our culture asks the same question. What have you achieved? How have you demonstrated your usefulness? What do you do? As if our self worth depends on what we do more than who we are. When his identity was challenged thankfully Jesus didn’t fall for the performance trap, by turning stones into bread instead he reminded Satan and subsequently mankind where to look for provision.
We live in a high performance and achievement oriented society. The media and the world lifts high performers and achievers to the skies. There are many who at a very young age reach unusual stardom and celebrity status like the teen idols Miley Cyrus and Justin Beiber (whose hair was sold for $40,688)We know it’s for charity but $40,688 for a box of teenage boy’s hair? But who cares about their temper tantrums and bad behavior as long as they are bringing in big bucks? The crazy thing about the media is that once these so called STARS are not performing well it throws them out and runs after someone else who performs better.
But that is not how God deals with us. He is especially tender and gracious to us when we are hurting and performing at our lowest level. God comes to us when we are in the pit and lifts us up and gives us another chance to experience his love and healing. Psalm 147: 3, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 34:18, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” There were numerous examples of people who have experienced God’s power of healing and acceptance.
God took the first step towards Adam who sinned against him, he lifted Joseph from a dungeon, he met Moses in the desert at the burning bush, and he encouraged depressed Elijah. Jesus restored Peter who denied him three times. When I am spiritually, emotionally, and physically down, I become the prime recipient of God’s grace and his unconditional love. I can overcome the trap of performance when I realize that my acceptance and my identity doesn’t depend on my performance but on my position in Christ. Who am I? I am God’s child.
II THE POPULARITY TRAP (Vs 5-7)
The devil took him to the holy city and had him stand on the highest point of the temple. If you are the Son of God; he said, “throw your self down” and misquoted Psalm 91:11, 12 saying, “He will command his angels concerning you and they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone”
Satan knew who Jesus was, so did Jesus himself but the people didn’t so he offered Jesus a short cut, one jump from the top of the temple would catapult him to the Hall of fame. Oh boy that must have been really tempting. Can you imagine how spectacular that sight must have been? The angels! Carrying Jesus in their hands! Slowly lowering him in the midst of the Jewish worshippers! What a great way to start a public ministry, isn’t it? Instead of taking the easy way out Jesus chose the hardest path of crucifixion.
Satan uses the same trap of popularity and tempts millions, the sad part is that many are falling into that trap. Are you one of those who are obsessed with popularity? If you are, watch out my friend, you can be the next victim to the devil. Being popular may earn you lot’s of money, friends and a great fan club but doesn’t necessarily make you happy. If only we see the lives of so called popular people we will understand the myth of popularity.
III. THE POSSESSION TRAP: (Vs 8-10)
The devil took Jesus to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. All this I will give you, he said if you will bow down and worship me. The enemy uses the possession trap to make people believe that their true worth depends on what they possess. It is a lie from the enemy. Pete Scazzero explains that our self view or perception of our self is largely impacted by the culture around us.” Our culture measures our success or our worth by what we own. Marketers now spend over 15 billion dollars each year seducing children and adolescents to believe they have to have certain toys, clothes, IPods, CDs etc. Their very identities depend on it. As adults we measure ourselves through comparisons: Who has the most money? The most beautiful body? The most comfortable life? Who has the most attentive, handsome boyfriend or husband? The best looking girl or wife?”[6] If you try to derive your worth by what you possess you will be disappointed because none of these can give you true identity.
HOW CAN WE OVER COME THE FALSE IDENTITY TRAPS?
None of us are immune to these temptations. Satan sets all these three traps of Performance, Possession, and Popularity even in the path of the godliest person. How can we overcome these traps and discover our true God given identity. God’s word has all the answers. I would like to suggest four practical steps found in I Peter 5:8-9, 1. Be self controlled, 2 Be Alert, 3. Resist 4. Stand firm in the faith.
Firstly, Be self controlled. With the help of God we need to learn to control our appetites, passions and desires. We just can not get our lives go out of control. Secondly we are to be Alert. The enemy prowls around like a roaring lion looking for some one to devour. He likes to attack you and me when we least expect him especially when we are weak. The enemy doesn’t believe in taking a day off, therefore be vigilant and guard all your ways. Thirdly, resist him. James 4:7, “Submit yourselves then to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” Many of us feel defeated in our fight against the devil because we try to resist him without first submitting to God. When you live your life without submission to God you lack power.
It is one thing to put your faith in Christ for salvation but it is another thing to turn your whole life, every part, your hurts, your hopes, your dreams everything over to God. We call this surrender; there is nothing more freeing than living a surrendered life. Fourthly, we need to stand firm in our faith in God and what God’s word says who you are. From God comes our identity
In closing ask yourself the question: What defines me? Who am I, what makes me special? To define yourself as a child of God immensely loved by God, to find your personal worth in your Abba father who says of you, “you are my son/daughter, whom I love and with you I am well pleased, apart from anything you do or have is revolutionary. Our culture, family of origin, friends, possessions, or success can not give you true identity but only Christ can give you true identity. In Him you are complete. Amen
[1] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Identity_%28social_science%29
[2] http://www.uk.sagepub.com/upm-data/11138_Chaper_5.pdf
[3] http://ezinearticles.com/?Identity-Crisis-Of-Todays-Youth&id=606225
[4] http://ezinearticles.com/?Identity-Crisis-Of-Todays-Youth&id=606225
[5] http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-an-identity-crisis.htm
[6] Peter Scazzero, “Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, Page 76
