If you have been married for a while you may agree with me in saying that the wedding is one thing but marriage is totally another thing. Right? What is the difference? The wedding is a celebration when a man and a woman exchange their vows of commitment and love for each other in the presence of God, the family and friends. However wonderful and glamorous that day may be, it doesn’t last for a long time. What you and your spouse make of it together after that day onwards is called marriage. It can either turn out to be a happy and fulfilling one or a disaster. As a popular idiom goes, “Marriages are made in heaven” but they require a lot of hard work in order to succeed on earth. It all depends on both the partners.
Many, these days are threatening and undermining the validity and the importance of the divine institution of marriage. According to a Census Bureau report in 2008 and a report from market research there are 10.8 million single parent homes include 2.5 million singled dads with custody of their children and 8.3 million single mothers. About 12 million adults are living with an unmarried partner, while some 47 million unmarried Americans are living with relatives.”[1]
If these numbers mean any thing, they may mean that the dignity and the respect that once used to be held towards traditional marriage is surely but slowly eroding. How can we reverse this trend? In the midst of these eroding trends I attempt to make a strong case for marriage and discuss the importance of marriage. How does God look at marriage? And what contributes to a healthy marriage? If you are currently married you should be asking the following questions: Is my marriage thriving or at the verge of collapsing? Am I satisfied in my marriage or merely tolerating and enduring it? How can I make my marriage succeed? If there is one thing worth fighting for it is our marriage.
I am a firm believer and strong advocate for healthy marriages. A healthy marriage contributes to the health of a Church, society and a nation. There are several people who are fighting to restore and preserve the age old custom. As we talk on this important topic of marriage the week of February 7-14th each year has been set aside both nationally and internationally by the “Coalition for Marriage and Family” to celebrate the tradition and the sanctity of marriage. Let’s begin by finding out why marriage is so important?
I. Why Marriage is important?
Among many reasons, the primary reason why marriage is important is simply because it is initiated by God and it is his order. In an age where many pundits are trying hard to redefine the traditional marriage, it is important that we understand how God views marriage and the importance of it. Before we look into scriptures let’s look at the excerpts of a joint report issued by sixteen top scholars on family life that highlights the importance of marriage. A healthy marriage or lack of it has a huge impact on children, men, women and the society at large.
About Children: Children who live with their own two married parents enjoy better physical health, on average, than children in other family forms. The health advantages of married homes remain even after taking into account socioeconomic status.
About Men: Married men earn between 10 and 40 percent more than single men with similar education and job histories. Married people, especially married men, have longer life expectancies than otherwise similar singles.
About Women: Divorce and unmarried childbearing significantly increases poverty rates of both mothers and children. Married mothers have lower rates of depression than single or cohabiting mothers.
About Society: Marriage appears to reduce the risk that children and adults will be either perpetrators or victims of crime. [2]
Isn’t it ironic that the social sciences now seem to have woken up to educate men and women not to live alone, while all along God and his people have been stressing the need and the importance of marriage? Where and when did the institution of marriage begin? It began way back in the Garden of Eden. When God looked at his creation he kept saying it was “good” for the first time we hear God saying something not being “good” and that was in regards to man being alone. Did you ever think why it was not good for man to be alone? By the way what does the word “good” mean? The Hebrew word for good here has a whole range of meanings: It means: good, pleasant, beautiful, convenient, joyful, fruitful, cheerful, happiness, kind and it may refer to practical or economic benefits. In other words God must have meant all of the above when he said “it is not good for man to be alone. It does make a lot of sense isn’t it?
It sure made a lot of sense to me. I was seventeen when I accepted the LORD and decided to live and serve Him for the rest of my life. I was twenty when I joined YWAM and began my career as a missionary. On one hand I was fulfilled in serving God but on the other hand I felt incomplete and not fully happy. I was twenty five when I lost my mother whom I loved very much. Then for the first time I noticed how lonely and miserable I was.
One day while walking through the hills in India having my quite time my eyes noticed a typical sight. It was a poor family living in a make shift house. I saw the man resting on a rock, his wife next to him cleaning the rice and their daughter sitting in the dust quietly playing with stones. They looked complete and together. A thought flashed through my mind! Wow what a happy and contented family. Here I am supposedly serving God, preaching and teaching every where, helping people in their struggles, but yet feeling unhappy and unfulfilled. I somewhat envied the simple and uncomplicated life of that poor family. I started questioning what I was doing and who I was doing it for? Four years latter I was married.
True happiness is not found in things but in meaningful relationships. After meeting Jesus my marriage is the best thing that has ever happened to me. My wife is a gift from heaven, a God sent. When we discuss a sensitive topic like marriage we can have mixed emotions and reactions to it. I am aware of the societal changes that have occurred over the last 60 years and that today we have more adults living as singles than ever before in history. This is today’s reality and the church has to come to grips with this reality and deeply care about the challenges faced by singles. Yet, in the midst of changing times and trends it is absolutely crucial that we as God’s people know, appreciate and respect the design of God. God loves people (full stop)……….
Do we ever stop to think why it is that God insists on people loving each other? People are made for love, God designed people to thrive in a climate of love which means a climate of kindness, patience, truth, the absence of rudeness, selfishness and envy. God designed the family to be the safe circle were a husband and wife practice faithful love so that when children arrive they can thrive on the nurture of their parents love and instruction. God’s design is good and perfect but as fallen people marred by sin we meddle with it and therefore we experience brokenness, hurt and failure. None of us entirely goes untouched by any of this, it is all around us. That‘s were the glorious gospel brings us hope, a hope for the broken and hurting, whether single or married.
As you listen to why marriage is so important some of you may be thinking that I am over romanticizing or glorifying marriage. I realize that when it comes to marriage we may carry painful baggage which can distort our view on marriage. All the more reason to look at what God’s word has to say about marriage.
II. BIBLICAL VIEW ON MARRIAGE:
There are a number of scriptures that convey the heart of God towards marriage. He is concerned for marriages today more than any one of us because he initiated and performed the first marriage in the Garden of Eden. He brought Eve and Adam together and said, “For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall cleave to his wife and they shall become one flesh.” With that God laid a pattern for generations to follow. According to scriptures marriage is only between a man and a woman and this is my personal conviction and stand on marriage. Monogamy for a lifetime was and is God’s original divine plan. The Lord Jesus reemphasized this enduring principle in Matt 19:3-9.
Throughout the Bible the marriage relationship between a husband and a wife is a metaphor for the relationship between Christ and the Church. In Jeremiah 31:32, God says "The time is coming when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and with the house of Judah. It will not be like the covenant I made with their forefathers when I took them by the hand and to lead them out of Egypt, because they broke my covenant though I was a husband to them." Notice that God made a covenant with his people and then states that He was their husband linking the covenant between God and His people to the marriage covenant between a man and a woman.
In Revelation 19:6 we read, “the wedding of the Lamb, (which is Jesus), has come and his bride, (the church), has made herself ready. What a glorious day that it will be when the bride (the Church) finally meets her groom the Lord Jesus. This is sufficient for today next week we will look at what contributes to a healthy marriage. Amen
