THE ABUSIVE POWER OF RUDENESS
Love is Not Proud
The
Most Excellent Way- Part V I Corinthians 13
A
story was told a few years ago about an actor who was playing the part of
Christ in a “Passion Play. “As he carried the cross up the hill a bystander in
the crowd began heckling him, & shouting insults. Finally, the actor had taken all of it he could take.
So he threw down his cross, walked over to the bystander, & punched him.
After
the play was over, the director told him, "I know he was a pest, but I
have to fire you. We just can't have you behaving this way while playing the
part of Jesus." The actor begged, "Please give me one more chance. I
can handle it if it happens again." So the director decided to give him
another chance. The next day he was once again carrying his cross up the
street. Sure enough, the heckler was back. You could tell that the actor was
really trying to control himself, but it was about to get the best of him. He
was clenching his fists & grinding his teeth. Finally,
he looked at the heckler & said, "I'll meet you after the
resurrection!"[1]
This illustrates, that the world
places certain expectations on the behavior of Christians. We know, sometimes it is hard for those who profess to
be Christians to behave like Christians should. We try to carry our crosses,
but if someone crosses us, we tend to lose our composure & behave in much
the same way the rest of the world behaves. We
have been on a journey to discover how we could be the trend setters rather
than the followers of a trend. How can we regain and walk by biblical morals in
a culture that is drifting away from morality?
In our
series on the Most Excellent Way, so far we have looked at: Love is being patient,
Love is kind, Loved does not envy, Love does not boast and Love is not arrogant.
Today we will look at “THE ABUSIVE POWER OF RUDENESS” When the Apostle Paul
wrote to the believers in Corinth about love not being rude, he was warning
them about the abusive power of rudeness and how being rude to others can
damage them and eventually destroy relationships. Let’s see the context in
which the Apostle Paul exhorted believers not to be rude.
THE
BACKGROUND:
The
apostle Paul wrote a letter to the Corinthian believers, prompted by a report
received by one of the house group leaders. That report contained, how some
were, boasting, impatient, proud of their sexual exploits, arrogant, divided,
unkind and even rude, or acting unbecomingly to others. As a responsible church
planter, Paul addressed some of these problems initially through his writings.
He reminded them of their past worldly way of living. They were not to boast
about such living, instead as the redeemed now they were to live differently.
He showed them the most excellent way of living by exhorting them not to be rude
to one another.
Before
we delve deep into the abusive power of rudeness, let’s establish what rudeness
is. The dictionary defines rudeness as
lacking in manners, discourtesy or inconsiderate behavior. Synonyms: Impoliteness,
bad manners, incivility, disrespect, ungraciousness, boorishness, and crassness
etc. A couple of quotes on rudeness: “Never respond to rudeness. When people
are rude to you, they reveal who they are, not who you are. Don’t take it
personally be silent.”
The
twentieth century American social philosopher Eric Hoffer once said, “Rudeness is
the weak man’s imitation of strength.” Steve Macchia, modifies this to read,
“Rudeness is the self-protected and highly manipulative person’s projection of
power.”
I.
THE ABUSIVE POWER OF RUDENESS
Steve
goes on to explain the basis of rudeness and its false projection in the world,
and how we can show power differently. “Rudeness is based in the need to be in
control, to be right, to be strong in what the world says strength looks like:
power over others. To be powerful over another doesn’t necessarily mean
strength, for strength as we have been unpacking in, the Most Excellent Way
series can also be shown more effectively through kindness and humility.”
How
is rudeness conveyed? It is exhibited in various ways. It can burst out through a foul mouth or
crude and inappropriate speech. Just
like what millions of Americans were shocked to hear in an audio tape last
week, where a presidential nominee made lewd comments and simply reduced them
to “Locker room Banter.” Really? Undoubtedly, those comments were rude and disrespectful
of women everywhere. Locker room talk that demeans and objectify women is never
acceptable by any standards and anywhere.
We need to teach our boys and men to learn to respect all women and
treat them with dignity.
Rudeness
can be expressed through inappropriate body gestures. It can be conveyed by
inappropriately touching the opposite gender without their consent. It can be
seen when people are rough with others and when they bully others. You can be
rude to people when you ignore them, don’t respond to their questions, and bury
yourself in your I-phone or books. Rudeness can overwhelm another by showing
little concern or regard for that person’s personal property or space. It can
disturb the mind, destroy the heart, or dismantle the morality of others. In
essence a rudeness of personhood is abuse of power by seeking outright control
and manipulation.
One
thing is consistently true about every rude person: they must set the agenda.
They must be in control. When Paul is writing, “love is not rude,” he is
saying, “love doesn’t abuse power, it doesn’t set the agenda and it doesn’t
manipulate.”
To
the Corinthian believers Paul in essence saying, “I am calling to you to the most
excellent way to lead and serve others, in Jesus’ name and it is all about
love. This love is not rude, it is not obnoxious, nor irreverent. It does not
control others. This love does not serve its own needs, and push its agenda on
others. Oh how I wish the, American electorate and those who are running for
the office listen to this message?
II. WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY ABOUT RUDENESS?
Several scriptures in the Bible allude to the fact that
through our words and actions we may be rude to others. We may be disrespectful
and demean others, hence by all means we need to stop being rude. Consider the
following: “Words satisfy the mind as much as fruit does the stomach; good talk
is as gratifying as a good harvest. Words kill, words give life; they’re either
poison or fruit—you choose.” Proverbs 18:19-21, (The Message)
Psalm 140:1-3, “Rescue me, Lord,
from evildoers; protect me from the violent, who devise evil plans in their
hearts and stir up war every day. They make their tongues as sharp as a
serpent’s; the poison of vipers is on their lips.” Selah, let’s pause and note
what damage rudeness can do to people. Therefore we are encouraged to get rid
of all forms of rudeness. Col 3:8, “But now you must also rid yourselves of all
such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from
your lips.”
Let me share a biblical story where
rudeness showed its abusive power. This was the time when David along with his
men fleeing Jerusalem because he was afraid of his son Absalom. As King David approached Bahurim, a man named
Shimei son of Gera began to throw stones at David and his men. Not only that he
began to “curse David saying, “Get out, get out you murderer, you scoundrel” Do
you think these are appropriate words that someone should use against a
King? David’s men were outraged
naturally at those rude comments of Shimei.
One of the indignant officer said to
the king, why should this dead dog curse my lord the king? Let me go over and
cut off his head.” Talk about retaliation and vengeance towards the one who was
rude to the king. David, did not react but responded in the opposite spirit. He
said, “Leave him alone, let him curse, for the LORD has told him to. It may be
that the LORD will look upon my misery and restore to me his covenant blessing
instead of his curse today. So David and his men continued along the way,
Shimei continued his insults and rude comments, cursing, throwing stones and
showering David with dirt.” (I Samuel 16:5-13)
This is a beautiful example of how
we are to respond to rudeness. In a dog eat dog world, what David did was
commendable and counter cultural. Kind David, took a higher road, he did not go
down on the road of retaliation. When stones and dirt were thrown at him he
kept his cool, and entrusted himself to the one who says, “Vengeance is Mine.”
Romans 12:17:21 “Do not repay anyone
evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is
possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take
revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written:
“It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary: “If your
enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In
doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by
evil, but overcome evil with good.” What a powerful scripture, that can defuse
the power of rudeness.
If nothing else in the bible we follow
but just this one scripture, I believe, we will indeed have a great nation that
trusts and serves God alone. We will have a nation that honors and respects all
human beings regardless of their race, background and ethnicity. This can only
be possible, when we all cultivate the fruit of the Holy Spirit which is
gentleness and develop the attitude of Jesus Christ, and continue to aspire to
live the most excellent way.
III. HOW CAN WE RESPOND TO RUDENESS?
When it comes to dealing with rudeness,
let’s not forget the fact that the Apostle Paul wrote to a divided Church in
Corinth, and to each one of us today: Love is never rude. In the world people may be rude to one
another and abuse their power and become disrespectful of others, whereas in
the church we are called to be people of grace and humility. When we practice
love, we will become kinder people, because love simply has no place for
rudeness.
When people become rude to you
unduly, hurl insults at you and call you by all names, and even mistreat you
inappropriately, how are you to respond? Do you fight back and retaliate? That
is the worldly way of reacting, but those who choose to live the most excellent
way will respond like the King David responded in the OT, and Jesus the son of David
in the N.T
When it comes to responding to
rudeness let’s have the attitude of Jesus: He was called all kinds of names,
such as, glutton, drunkard, deceiver, people picked up stones to throw at him,
he was humiliated, mocked, spat upon, slapped, pulled by his beard, in the end
he was nailed to the cross. Jesus endured the worst kind of rudeness that no
one has ever encountered since then, yet He did not retaliate.
Isaiah 53:7, “He was oppressed and afflicted,
yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as
a sheep before its shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth.”, not only
that, He prayed for his persecutors, saying, “Father forgive them for they do
not know what they are doing.”
Dear friends in responding to rudeness,
Jesus is our role model, and His way is the most excellent way for us to
follow. In closing, “fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of
faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame,
and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who
has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not
grow weary and lose heart.” Romans 12:2-3. Amen
[1] http://www.sermoncentral.com/sermons/the-most-excellent-way-melvin-newland-sermon-on-christian-love-32363.asp
