THE CRIPPLING IMPACT OF SELFISHNESS
Love is Not
Selfish
The
Most Excellent Way- Part VII I Corinthians 13
I remember in
my elementary school, one particular teacher was hated by all students in the
class, because she wanted children to learn how to share their things with
others. So she employed a method. If anyone brought a candy to the class, she
insisted that they should share with others or they should not bring it at all.
When she saw someone eating without sharing, she would break it into ten pieces
and give it others, of course she would give the biggest piece to the owner of
the candy. In the end the whole class was very happy.
You may call it a form of socialism, but that taught us a
valuable lesson of the joy of sharing. I grew up in that kind of an environment
where we have looked after each other’s needs, and shared things commonly. By
and large you see this kind of sharing and caring attitude in the eastern and
developing countries. I was rudely shocked when I joined Youth With A Mission,
and when I saw my fellow western missionary, eating an entire scope of
ice-cream, without blinking an eye and without offering to buy me a scoop as
well! I thought to myself it was inhuman! How could he just eat like that
without considering his brother in the Lord!
That made me wonder, about the inconsideration, and
selfish nature of people. Not to blame any one particular culture, we all have
a certain selfish nature in us unless we were raised and taught differently.
That is why it is so important we teach our children how to share their things
with others, because there is true satisfaction and joy in sharing and caring
for others. For the past several weeks we have been on a Journey to teach
ourselves some valuable lessons. Our hope is that by practicing these lessons
we would become better people and our church would become a safe haven, where
there will be love, harmony and mutual respect for each other.
In our series on the Most
Excellent Way, so far we have looked at: Love is being patient, Love is kind,
Loved does not envy, Love does not boast and Love is not arrogant and Love is
not rude. Today we will learn about another negative we have to lay down i.e
“not self-seeking” When the Apostle Paul wrote to the believers in Corinth
about love is not self-seeking he was warning them about, “THE CRIPPLING
IMPACT OF SELFISHNESS. Let’s see the context in which the Apostle Paul exhorted
believers to have genuine concern for other’s needs.
THE
BACKGROUND:
The
apostle Paul wrote a letter to the Corinthian believers, prompted by a report
received by one of the house group leaders. That report contained, how some
were, boasting, impatient, proud of their sexual exploits, arrogant, divided,
unkind, rude, obsessed with their own concerns and oblivious of other’s needs. As
a responsible church planter, Paul wanted to straighten out those inconsistencies.
He reminded them that before they came to know Christ they were living in a
prideful world, but now they were redeemed so now they were to live
differently. He showed them the most excellent way of living by saying, “Love
is not selfish”
Before
we see the crippling impact of selfishness, let’s establish what selfishness is?
A selfish person is someone who is
devoted to or caring only for oneself. Concerned primarily with one’s own
interests, benefits, welfare etc, regardless of others. Selfishness is lacking
consideration for others. Selfishness focuses on one’s own needs while ignoring
other’s needs. Selfishness knows only three words: Me, Myself and Mine.” In
other words, “It is all about me.”
Whether
we like it or not from time to time we come across those we call “selfish
brats” Martin Luther King, Jr, this had to say about selfishness: “Every man
must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness
of destructive selfishness.”
I.
THE CRIPPLING IMPACT OF SELFISHNESS
The culture we are living in is
becoming more and more selfish and self-centered. Selfishness is often one of
the root causes for breakdown in relationships especially when it comes to
divorce. One of the reasons why most couples divorce is, due to,
“Irreconcilable Differences.” It is another way to say, “I am selfish, I only
want to have my way and I cannot tolerate your point of view anymore.” That
kind of attitude can truly damage relationships. Unfortunately, many marriages ended
in divorce, families split due to selfishness.
How
does selfishness manifest? Selfishness comes in many ways. It may be through
our work, our play our job, and through our possessions. Selfishness may be
evident to many, or to some, or just a few. No matter how we see it, we all
suffer from this common illness: selfishness. It is in the fiber of our fallen
being. And our souls are desperate for it to be redeemed.
When
Paul was writing to the Corinthians, all of his teachings were in rebuttal to
their propensity to insist on their own way. Therefore Paul’s exhorts them not
to live in the same way as their culture, which was pagan, and immoral. He offered
the Corinthians a new and liberating way of handling their self-absorbed,
divisive habits. Paul writing to the believers in Rome, encouraged them to no
longer be self-serving, but instead to love one another with sincerity. Romans 12:10-11, “Let us have real warm affection for one another as between
brothers, and a willingness to let the other man have the credit. Let us not allow slackness to spoil our
work and let us keep the fires of the spirit burning, as we do our work for
God.”
II. WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY ABOUT SELFISHNESS?
Several scriptures in the Bible allude to the fact that
selfishness is indeed crippling and the people of God must stay away from it,
and cultivate Christ centeredness and others centeredness. Love is not selfish.
Consider the following scriptures:
We will see how a selfishness
separated close relatives. “Lot
looked around and saw that the whole plain of the Jordan toward Zoar was well watered, like the garden of the Lord, like
the land of Egypt. (This
was before the Lord destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah.) So Lot chose for himself the
whole plain of the Jordan and set out toward the east. The two men parted
company.”Gen 13:10-11.
Another story of how selfishness can
breed contempt and make people disregard others. This story is found in I
Samuel 25. Let me summarize: David was running away from Saul, moving through
the Desert of Paran. There was a very wealthy man named Nabal, literally means,
“Fool” It was during a festive time, David sends his mean to Nabal to seek from
him some sheep, so that they can have a feast. Nabal refuses to give any sheep
instead he hurls insults at David and his men. Listen to his words of contempt:
“Who is this David? Who is this son
of Jesse? Many servants are breaking away from their master these days. Why
should I take my bread and water, and the meat I have slaughtered for my
shearers, and give it to men coming from who knows where?” Can you hear the
tone of sarcasm and lack of concern for others in Nabal? His response angered
David and his men, if it was not the intervention of Nabal’s wise wife Abigal,
Nabal would have been killed by David.
After ten days the Lord strikes
Nabal dead. When David heard, Nabal was dead, he said, “Praise be to the LORD,
who has upheld my cause against Nabal for treating me with contempt. He has
kept his servant from doing wrong and has brought Nabal’s wrong doing down on
his head.” I Samuel. This is another
clear indication when people mistreat you with contempt and disrespect, don’t
fret or take matters into your hands, instead take your case to God, and God
knows how to deal with your adversaries and show you His favor, kindness and
provision.
Have you wondered what causes fights and
quarrel among people? Do you know what promotes evil in the society? It is
often the selfishness. The Apostle James shows the difference between worldly
wisdom and the wisdom comes from God “Are there those among you who are truly
wise and understanding? Then they should show it by living right and doing good
things with a gentleness that comes from wisdom. But if you are selfish and
have bitter jealousy in your hearts, do not brag. Your bragging is a lie that
hides the truth. That kind of “wisdom” does not come from God but from the
world. It is not spiritual; it is from the devil. Where jealousy and
selfishness are, there will be confusion and every kind of evil.” James 3:13-14
(NCV)
III. HOW CAN WE OVERCOME SELFISHNESS?
When it comes to dealing with
selfishness, let’s head the advice the Apostle Paul gave to the Corinthian
Church: Love is not selfish. Through his self-sacrificial living Paul showed
them what a blessing it is to not to be self –seeking but seek the welfare of
others. In the end through your giving of yourself to others many people can
get saved. Paul overcame selfishness in his own life by serving others and
taking care of their needs. So he could say, “When you do things, do not let
selfishness or pride be your guide. Instead, be humble and give more honor to
others than to yourselves. Do not be interested only in your own life, but be
interested in the lives of others.” Philippians 2:3
The Apostle Paul predicted, that
would be the case in the last days. But he also exhorted that, Christ’s
disciples should be different than the rest of the world in living lives of
love and selflessness. 2 Timothy 3:1-6, “But realize this, that in the last days
difficult times will come. For men, will be lovers of self, lovers of
money, boastful, arrogant…. Avoid such men as these” Let’s dig a bit deeper
this phrase: “Lovers of self.” In NIV it reads, “Lovers of themselves”
What
does, lovers of self, mean? The Greek
word used here is “Philautos” literally
means loving himself. In reality it not the one who simply loves himself, but
one who loves himself more than he ought to, involving self-conceit and
selfishness. A person who is
characterized by an undue sparing of self and whose primary concern is that the
things be easy and pleasant for himself or herself.”
Keeping
that definition in mind let’s head Paul’s exhortation to Timothy. When it comes
to think of it, not only Timothy, but many in the Church History and even
modern times who did not care about their lives when it comes to taking care of
the needs of others and taking the gospel to the most dangerous places on
earth. So that through their unselfishness and relentless love for others many
have come into the kingdom of God. That is what it means when Paul said, Love
is not selfish, it means if you love God and others then you are willing to let
go of your own legitimate comforts so that others would come to experience the
forgiving love of God.
So dear
friends, in a world where everybody is unto themselves, only care about their
own needs and their family’s needs, how can we be unselfish and model Christ’s
nature? On our own strength, we cannot, but by the grace of God and through the
power of His Holy Spirit we can. As we are committed to walk the Most excellent
way. I would like us to emulate a modern-day saint, Pope Francis, who has
adopted this Most Excellent Way as a way of living.
Pope
Francis’ selfless, simple and humble living, challenges the many affluent and
proud people around the world. Let me close with his quote: “We have observed
that, in society and the world in which we live, selfishness has increased more
than love for others, and that men of good will must work, each with his own
strengths and expertise, to ensure that love for others increases until it is
equal and possibly exceeds love for oneself.” Amen
