THE MINISTRY OF SINGLEHOOD
Kate
Bolick wrote an article for The Atlantic magazine looking at attitudes towards
single women like her. She noted that many single women still long for marriage
and have a fear of lifelong singleness. She says that she experienced
"panicked exhaustion" around the age of 36. (She was 39 at the time
of the article). She felt an intense need to marry immediately, even if it
meant settling for a less than desirable or "qualified" man.
She interviewed several single women
in their early 20s. When she asked them if they wanted to get married and, if
so, at what age? They all answered "yes" and wanted to be married by
the age of 27 or 28. She reminded them of her age (39) and suggested that they
could still be single at that age. She asked, "Does that freak you
out?" She reports, "again they nodded." Then one young woman whispered,
"I don't think I can bear doing this for that long."
This interview captures the pain and
honesty around singleness—for both men and women. But it also highlights the
need for a better way to think about singleness, the high view of singleness
found in the Bible."[1] "Once upon a time in America, marriage was the norm for adults of a certain age. But now, for the
first time since 1976, the number of single people outnumber married people: About
50.2 percent or 124.6 million American adults are single—in 1950, that number
sat around 22 percent."[2] A lot of people in this
country are single.
Last week we focused on marriages
and married couples. Today we will be focusing on singles. If you are single
for whatever reason, you are very welcome here. We love our singles as much as
we value and love married couples, families, and children at Hope Church.
Singles are not overlooked here. They matter and have a lot to contribute to
the Ministry of Hope Church, perhaps more than married couples. I title this
message "The Ministry of Singlehood."
The Apostle Paul took a firm stand
when addressing marriage, married couples, and divorce. He said, Vs.10, "a
command that comes not from me, but from the Lord." But when addressing
young women who were not yet married or singles, he was a bit softer. Vs. 25,
"I do not have a command from the Lord for them. But the Lord in his mercy
has given me wisdom that can be trusted, and I will share it with you."
Keep that in mind as we explore this passage.
I.
WHAT ABOUT VIRGINS AND MARRIAGE?
Remember, Paul was addressing a question regarding
the young women who were not yet married. The question may have gone something
like this, is it better to remain single or married? Or whether married or
single, how are we to live our lives? Paul answered tactfully, Vs. 26, "Because
of the present crisis, I think it is best to remain as you are." What did
he mean?
The present crisis here was probably
a reference to the pressures of the Christian life in an immoral and
particularly hostile environment. Paul may have foreseen the impending
persecution that the Roman government would soon bring upon Christians. (2 Tim
3:12).
Vs. 28, "But if you do get
married, it is not a sin. And if a young woman gets married, it is not a sin.
However, those who get married at this time will have troubles, and I am trying
to spare you those problems." Paul gave this practical advice because
being unmarried would mean less suffering and more freedom to spend one's life
for the cause of Christ.
Many people naively think that
marriage will solve all their problems. Here are some problems that marriage
won't solve:1. Loneliness. 2. Sexual temptations. 3. One's emotional deepest
needs. 4. Life's difficulties. As wonderful as marriage is, marriage doesn't
automatically solve every problem.
Whether married or single, we must
be content with our situation and focus on Jesus Christ, not on our loved ones,
to help address our problems. In verses
29-31, Paul urges Christians to live for the Lord, whether married, widowed,
divorced, or single.
II.THE CLOCK IS TICKING! (Vs. 29-31)
Vs.29-31, "I do want to point
out, friends, that time is of the essence. There is no time to waste, so don't
complicate your lives unnecessarily. Keep it simple—in marriage, grief, joy,
whatever. Even in ordinary things—your daily routines of shopping, and so on.
Deal as sparingly as possible with the things the world thrusts on you. This
world as you see it is fading away."
Eugene Peterson captured the essence
of these verses and put them in contemporary language. The apostle explains
that the time for doing the Lord's work is short and perhaps coming to an end. This
is not necessarily a reference to the second coming of Christ, for Paul may
have been anticipating persecutions and possible curtailment of freedom of
religion.
In light of what was to come, Paul
urged Christians to live in freedom from the entanglements of marriage,
material positions, and beyond sadness and joy that life may bring upon them.
In other words, "Live for the Lord, in all matters of life," What does this mean for us?
Just like during Paul's times,
Christians in many places are facing persecution. As the scripture suggests,
"the world and its desires soon pass away." It is becoming harder and
harder for Christians to live by, practice, and propagate their faith in this
hostile environment.
The window to preach the gospel is
rapidly closing down. The clock is ticking for the return of our Lord Jesus
Christ. In light of that, how are we to live our lives today? What should be
our priorities? Are we to live selfishly to please ourselves or to please our
Lord? After addressing the married, the Apostle Paul highlights the benefits of
singles and unmarried ones.
III.
THE MINISTRY OF SINGLEHOOD. (Vs. 32-35)
Are the singles missing out in
life? Are they free of complications and having the best of their time? It
depends on who you ask and how you approach Singlehood. Some might see it as a
curse, but the scriptures place a higher view. Paul sees Singlehood as a Gift
from the Lord.
Vs7, "But I wish everyone were
single, just as I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind
or another." Paul was not jealous of married people; instead, he recognized
either you are married or single, see it as a special gift from God.
When he said, He was in the same
line of thinking as Jesus. While addressing a concern on divorce, Jesus
responded to his disciples, who said, "If this is the case, it is better
not to marry." "Not everyone can accept this statement," Jesus
said. Only those whom God helps… some chose not to marry for the sake of the
Kingdom of heaven." Matthew 19:11-12
The essence of this scripture is
that many are called to marry and have a family in life. But to some, God gives
a unique gift of Singlehood and extra help to remain single. They choose not to marry for the sake of the
Kingdom. May God bless such individuals.
I view Singlehood as an opportunity for ministry
directed unto the Lord and his people. Singles have time, capacity, and fewer
encumberments to do ministry more than the married couples. That was what the
Apostle Paul alluded to in these verses. I read from (The Message).
32-35 "I want you to live as free of complications as possible.
When you're unmarried, you're free to concentrate on simply pleasing the
Master. Marriage involves you in all the nuts and bolts of domestic life and in
wanting to please your spouse, leading to so many more demands on your
attention. The time and energy that married people spend on caring for and
nurturing each other, the unmarried can spend in becoming whole and holy
instruments of God. I'm trying
to be helpful and make it as easy as possible for you, not make things harder.
All I want is for you to be able to develop a way of life in which you can
spend plenty of time together with the Master without a lot of distractions."
There is nothing more I can explain here. All I want to say is that the
benefits outweigh the challenges of Singlehood for the singles.
Here are some of Singlehood's
benefits. First, the essence of time. You have more time to serve the Lord and
the people of God through hospitality and other acts of service. Second, you
are free from the challenges and responsibilities of married couples. Third,
you can be focused on pleasing the Lord. Fourth you can be devoted to the Lord
and in body and spirit.
Let me give you a biblical and
real-time example of Singlehood. Anna, the prophetess! Anna was the daughter of
Phanuel from the tribe of Asher. Her husband died after seven years of marriage,
and she remained as a widow to the age of eighty-four. One wonders how did Anna
manage to stay single? Anna lived in a different realm of reality. The temple
of God became her dwelling place, and she sustained herself worshipping God
with fasting and prayer. Her expectation of the Messiah probably gave strength
and hope in her Singlehood. Anna praised God when she finally saw baby Jesus in
the temple. Lk
2:36-38
Wilma and I have a dear friend and
an intercessor who lives on Cape Cod. She
is a messianic Jew. She is single and has never been married. I asked her if
she had any words of encouragement for singles. Here is her testimony: "Although
I've had ten proposals of marriage. I'm still single. One can serve the Lord
Jesus, free of distractions when single, have more creativity, more energy to do
His service, using the gifts He's entrusted to each person.
I like to serve the Body of Christ
thru singing, writing books, and discipling. I can be accessible in the
evenings to disciple people. I would
probably be at home if I were married, cooking dinner for my husband and the
kids. There is also more creativity in being single. I just cut my 3rd vocal CD of old hymns. Being
single has responsibilities, though. We still have to pay the bills, cook food,
do laundry, etc." Anna and Genie saw Singlehood as a Ministry.
If you are single for whatever
reason, don't lose hope. See it as a special gift from God. You have a ministry
of Singlehood. Use your skills and talents in serving the Lord. Amen!
[1] Source: Adapted from Christina S.
Hitchcock, The Significance of Singleness (Baker Books, 2018), pages 4-5
