THE DANGER OF UNBELIEF(Hebrews 3:12-19)

When we were young in years or young in faith we were able to believe almost anything we were told. Our parents, our teachers and our pastors were unimpeachable sources of truth and integrity. If any one of them said something, it must be true. For example, in Sunday school we were fascinated by the story of Jonah in the belly of a whale. No one questioned the authenticity of that story, right? But when we grew older in years and more "sophisticated" in thoughts, we learned to stop believing things simply because an authority figure told us it was true. Our own intelligence, skepticism and curiosity forced us to go out and make inquiries for ourselves. While this process results in the gradual development of a healthy, well-informed, personalized faith, for too many others, the entire concept of "believing" can eventually erode completely. Let me explain how the erosion sets in. Doubts about a real ark filled with smelly animals lead to ... Doubts about a real dry land crossing at the Red Sea, which lead to ...Doubts about the walls of Jericho falling down at the sound of trumpets, which lead to ...Doubts about God's active involvement in the life of Israel, which lead to ...Doubts about God's new covenant in the person of Jesus Christ, which lead to ...Doubts about the place of Jesus in history, which lead to ...Doubts about the relevance of the Bible itself in the microchip-paced world of the 21st century. If you continue in that before you realize you become cynical and skeptic, and may eventually give up your faith.

Paul warned the Jewish believers in Hebrews 3:12-19 about the Danger of an unbelieving heart. He reminded them of the History of their forefathers to teach them a lesson. How does this apply to us who are challenged to hold on to our faith in this highly skeptic world?

I. THE UNBELIEVING HEART :( Vs 12)

Those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it, said the Great War time leader Sir, Winston Churchill. I wonder what must have inspired Churchill to say those famous words. Could it be that he must have read the passage from Hebrews 3^rd chapter? In this passage we read the Apostle Paul pulling out a chapter from the History of Israel and warn his audience against the pitfalls of unbelief. In Vs 12, we read, “See to it (Take Care), brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God.” Why was Paul warning them to take care? In order to find that out we must visit a bit of the history of the Israelites.

The Israelites finally set off on a Journey, to the Promised Land under the leadership of Moses. Initially things seemed to be going well for them. There was timely food and water to drink. But as the journey progressed they faced severe hardships to an extent they wondered in unbelief whether it was God who had led them out of Egypt? Their unbelieving heart began to pull them back to their old life of slavery. They thought that they were better off as slaves at least they had all kinds of good food to eat. That kind of attitude greatly displeased God.

Similarly in our journey of faith or for that matter when we decide to live for Christ initially things seem to go smoothly. When we think we are having a good time and have nothing to worry, and relax a bit, then all of a sudden without any warning trouble hits our life. The trouble could come in many forms it could be the loss of a job, financial insecurity, the diagnosis of cancer, a divorce in the family or the sudden death of a loved one or things just haven’t gone the way we thought they would. In such moments we feel like God is a million miles away from us. We begin to wonder whether “has God abandoned us”? Does he care what I am going through? Just like the Israelites we too can harden our heart in unbelief. Why is it important that we don’t harden our hearts in unbelief? According to Paul what is the real danger of unbelief?

II. THE DANGER OF UNBELIEF:

If there is one thing that displeases God more than anything else it is unbelief. Why? Because it places God in a vulnerable, weak position and makes him a liar. The children of Israel over and over again provoked God to anger through their unbelief. What is unbelief? It is the state or quality of not believing; incredulity or skepticism especially in matters of doctrine or religious faith. Strong’s definition: lacking confidence in the performer, unfaithfulness, faithless.

In simple words, unbelief is, “doubting God’s willingness or ability to alter or change the circumstances one is in. Let’s suppose I say to you that God can provide you a Job, you can turn around and say really? That is unbelief, doubting God’s power to provide. When we do that we doubt the very words of Jesus who said, “With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.” (Mk 10: 27). God can do all things what man can not do.

Coming back to our passage Paul points out that God was angry with Israelites for forty years. What did make God so angry? In Numbers 14:11 we read the annoyance of God. “How long will these people treat me with contempt? How long will they refuse to believe in me, in spite of all the miraculous signs I have performed among them? God was so annoyed with their continuous rebellion and unbelief so he declared, “as surely as I live, declares the Lord, I will do to you the very things I heard you say: In the desert your bodies will fall…Not one of you will enter the land I swore with uplifted hand to make your home, except Caleb son of Jephunneh and Joshua Son of Nun.(Numbers 14:28-30) As declared by the Lord only Joshua, Caleb and the children of the first original group that left Egypt entered the promised land and the rest perished in the desert. Paul noted in our text, “They were not able to enter because of unbelief.” (Vs 19)

Unbelief cuts us off from our relationship with God. Paul uses this analogy of cutting and grafting of the branches of a tree to explain the danger of unbelief. We learn this, again from the way God dealt with Jews. In Romans 11: 19-23, we read, “You will say then, branches were broken off so that I might be grafted in.” Quite right, they (Israelites) were broken off for their unbelief but you stand by your faith. Do not be conceited but fear; for if God did not spare the natural branches (Israelites) neither will He spare you.

What powerful warning is in this scripture? It reminds us of the sad history of God’s chosen people. Not only the first generation that left Egypt but even until today many Jews continue to live in unbelief. On the other hand we Gentiles who were far from the promises of God have been brought near through our faith in Christ; we became the children of God and the heirs of Abraham. Therefore as the scripture warns us not to become arrogant towards those who do not believe now.

We are no different if after knowing the Word of God and seeing miracles we too move in rebellion and unbelief. The same judgment that came upon Israelites can come upon us as well. You might be wondering, is there any hope for us and for those who refuses to believe Christ as the Messiah? The good news is yes there is hope provided we continue to live by faith in Jesus Christ and not to live in our unbelief.

How could we keep our hearts from unbelief? Is it possible for individual Christians to maintain their faith all by themselves during times of adversity? Paul gives us a simple but straightforward formula to overcoming unbelief. In Vs 13 we read, “But encourage one another daily as long as it is called today, so that none of you may be hardened by sins deceitfulness.” I recently watched the movie Harvest of fire in which a FBI agent comes alongside an Amish widow to find the culprit who burned her farm.

This movie graphically depicted what a loving Christian community ought to be in times of adversity. If it was not for the caring and support of the Amish community this widow wouldn’t have made it in life. The key here is encouragement in its many forms. What is encouragement? What are the effects of encouragement?

III. ENCOURAGEMENT: THE ANTIDOTE FOR UNBELIEF.

Have you ever found yourself so discouraged that you just couldn’t believe in yourself anymore? And have you ever found the lift that got you out of the pit of despair and discouragement? That lift is often the encouragement of a friend or parent who encouraged and believed in you. I got that lift from two professors in the seminary who believed in me and encouraged me when I was struggling with Hebrew and Greek, otherwise I wouldn’t have completed my studies. Let’s admit from time to time we all need a lift, so we wait for some one to come along side to encourage us and lift us out, but Paul is reminding us not to sit and wait for others to come to you but for you to take the first step to find some one that you might encourage in the process you will get the needed encouragement.

What does encouragement mean? Is it simply saying praise God, Halleliuah, all will go well with you? Or is it more than just saying words? From the Hebrew word we get the meaning of strength and support. It is a word frequently used to describe battle scenes, where often the discouraged troops receive a surge of energy by the support of additional troops. In Greek it is Parakaleo from which we get the world Parakletos (a name for the Holy Spirit) it means to come alongside or to aid someone. In both OT and NT encouragement means more than cheering people with encouraging words but it often required action or practical involvement.

What does Paul mean by “encourage one another daily? It means to look out for the practical needs of our brothers and sisters who perhaps are discouraged because of a certain difficulty. How can we encourage one another practically? There are a number of ways we can encourage one another. We must stop talking negative of each other because that can only dishearten. When we are spreading gossip or part of a juicy gossip we are not encouraging one another instead we are tearing one another apart whereby spreading dissension and division among the brethren. We can speak well of each other, go up to some one and complement their dress or how well they are looking.

Find the Sunday school teachers and appreciate them for teaching your children the ways of God. Or walk up to the worship team and tell them how blessed you were during worship. Or appreciate those who serve in the Church. Tell the pastor how God touched you by his sermon. Find someone who might be struggling financially and try to meet some of their immediate needs. These are only a few of the many ways we can encourage one another.

If only we all follow Paul’s instruction of encouraging one another we can become a loving, sharing and loving community. But when we withhold encouragement from one another then as Paul warned we might be hardened by sins deceitfulness. In Hebrew 10:25 Paul exhorts the believers to “encourage one another and all the more, as you see the day drawing near.” In closing: God is not pleased when we move in unbelief. Only by faith we can please God. Unbelief separates us from God and eventually makes us loose our God given destiny. The sure way to over come unbelief as individuals and as a community is by way of encouraging one another on a daily basis. May the Lord help us to step out and be that encouragement for some one who might need encouragement today? Amen.

IT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME...

The 20th century brought us many remarkable technologies, including the automobile, the space shuttle, and, for better or worse, the Internet. But there were other inventions that were just plain stupid. Maybe that's unkind. Let's just say that they seemed like a good idea at the time. Consider, for example, in 1953, the Curved Barrel Machine Gun was introduced with a bang. This was an M3 sub machine gun with a curved barrel for shooting around corners. It's the perfect weapon if you're into blasting away without looking at what -- or whom -- you might hit. And then there are the Illuminated Tires, introduced by Goodyear for automobiles in 1961. They were made from a single piece of synthetic rubber and were brightly lit by bulbs mounted inside the wheel rim. They're just what you need if you prefer to study your road map while kneeling on the ground outside of your car at night.

James Bonsack invented the cigarette-making machine in 1881 that cigarette smoking became widespread. Since then cigarettes seem to have inspired several inventions. In 1955, someone came up with a holder that allows you to smoke an entire pack of cigarettes all at once. That same year, someone else designed a two-person holder so that you and your sweetie could both smoke the same cigarette. The year previously, Robert L. Stern, president of Zeus Corp., invented what he called the Rainy Day Cigarette Holder. It had an arm that suspended a tiny umbrella over the lit end of the cigarette to keep the raindrops from putting it out. Of course, now we know that cigarettes themselves were a bad invention. Speaking of things that seemed like good ideas at the time, what about the golden calf? Was it a bad invention or a good invention? In order to find out the answer let’s read (Exodus 32:1-14)

I. THE GOLDEN CALF INVENTION: (Exodus 32:1-14)

God had commissioned Moses to lead the people of Israel out of slavery in Egypt. God's presence with them was amply confirmed by a pillar of cloud that led them by day and a pillar of fire that led them by night. But did the Israelites think that was enough? No. The first time Moses was out of the camp for several days to meet with God on a mountain, the people turned to Moses' brother Aaron and said, "Come make gods for us." The Hebrew word for the deity can be translated either "god" or "gods," depending on the context, and some translations render it singular and others plural. But the word that should have caught our attention here is one about which there's no question: “make.”

That tells us that the Israelites were looking for an invented god. What even more puzzling was that their leader Aaron didn’t rebuke them for their outlandish idea instead he gave into their unreasonable request. Talk about dumb inventions. Isn’t one of leadership’s responsibilities to point people in the right direction when they are going astray? All it takes one leader either to lead people in the right or wrong direction. Aaron gave into the pressure, asked them to bring him the golden ornaments, and then fashioned them into the shape of a calf. Then the people said, “These are your gods, O Israel who brought you up out of Egypt?

What a sad day it was, the day when people turned their backs on God who brought them out of Egypt? How could they even think of making a god for themselves, haven’t they seen many mighty wonders of the Living God.? How could they be so stupid and ungrateful? Are we being too harsh on the Israelites? Alan Kimber, Senior Minister at the United Methodist Church in Lodi, California, says that we should not fail "to take into account their need to fit into a new culture outside that of Egyptian slavery. Moreover, they are a people who are trying to discover who they are now that they are no longer slaves. At the turn of the last century in the United States with the influx of thousands of immigrants from many parts of Europe, the immigrants, to assimilate and adapt, focused on learning English and playing baseball. The need to belong is the mother of invention." Admittedly, we all have an inbuilt need to belong. What have we invented lately to meet that need to belong?

II. WHAT HAVE WE INVENTED?

The first of the Ten Commandments reads, “I am the LORD your God who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. You shall have no other. You shall not make for yourself and idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them.” (Exodus 20:1)

Emphatically, God wanted the Israelites to know that it was He who had delivered them from their slavery and no other god. Therefore He wanted them to worship him alone. If we violate this commandment it doesn’t take long before we violate the rest of the commandments. Israelites wanted to invent a man made god. The invention of the Golden calf seemed like a good idea then but little did they realize that their very own invention caused God to become furiously angry with them. To an extent he wanted to wipe them from the face of the earth. This innocent invention however became a nightmare and haunted them throughout their lives.

Similarly, what have we invented that replaces God from the center of our lives? What are our modern day “golden calves” We may not have graven images in our homes however, We are burdened by household gods, no longer made of clay, but all promising to fulfill us. Our computer, our television, I-phone, our job, our wealth, our social status, along with the brands we wear and the cars we drive, the sports we play promise us contentment in the form of identity.

We worship these golden calves and we bow down to them. However innocent these household gods may look initially, in the end they make us forget the true and living God who has set us free from sin and saved us from eternal damnation.

III. HAVE WE FORGOTTEN WHO GOD IS? (Vs 7-10)

The Israelites may have forgotten who God is but God has not forgotten who his people were. He told Moses to head down from the mountain to deal with it. The language God uses suggests that God is disowning his chosen ones, for he says to Moses, "Your people, whom you brought up out of Egypt, have become corrupt. They have been quick to turn away from what I commanded them and have made themselves an Idol cast in the shape of a calf. They have bowed down to it and sacrificed to it and have said, “these are your gods O Israel, who brought you up out of Egypt.” And God then says his wrath is so hot that he is going to "consume them" and start over, making a new nation from Moses' line (v.10).

The idea of making a new nation from his family line may have sounded tempting to Moses. But in the end Moses was more concerned about the name of God than making a name for himself. So he sought the favor of God by reminding him of the implications of his decision of destroying his people. Moses literally stood in the Gap between a corrupt generation and a righteous God who was bent on destroying them.

That is the position of an intercessor who is not concerned over his own reputation. If it was not for the intercession of my grand mother I wouldn’t be here today. Thank God for many intercessors who are faithfully standing in the gap for our nation so that the wrath of God might be turned away from us otherwise we would have been consumed long ago for turning our backs on God and crafting our own golden calves.

Have we forgotten who God is? After experiencing his power of deliverance have we quickly turned away from knowing and worshipping the true and living God? Are we turning to our golden calves to satisfy our needs or are we pressing on to know God is?

IV. THE QUEST TO KNOW GOD:

Well, how does that exchange between Moses and God help us in our quest to know God? On one level, it seems to present God as one who is as anger-driven and as changeable as we are. Perhaps what we are reading is simply how Moses characterized his meeting with God. But whatever the case, Moses is one who met with God on a level that few others have ever done, and what he recounts is that God, whose first inclination was to punish, ends up not sending his wrath down on Israel. Here we see God's grace got the best of God's justifiable anger. We are no different than the Israelites; we too are just as stiff necked and become corrupt just as they were. If it was not for the grace of God we all would have been consumed by now.

V. ENTER THE GRACE OF GOD

Grace is rightly defined as unmerited favor. It is the startling act of God working on behalf of the very ones who have violated his covenant and substituted gods of their own making for him. Grace can be understood by contrasting it to mercy, which is another divine attribute. Mercy is God's withholding punishment we deserve; grace is God's giving us blessings we don't deserve. In spite of all the modern day idols we have made for ourselves God continues to be patient and gracious towards us. When we have failed to live up to our promises to him, God still lives up to his promises to us. Yes, there's judgment. Yes, there's accountability. But there's also grace, however let’s not take his grace for granted. What are the golden calves you need to destroy today so that you might experience the full measure of Gods grace? Amen

FAMILY RELATIONS (Colossians 3:18-21)

The former first lady Barbara Bush was asked to speak at the 1990 Commencement Ceremony of Wellesley College. Wellesley, a women’s college is world renowned as a liberal bastion of feminism. Much controversy swirled around the decision to welcome the wife of a conservative, republican president who was herself, a stay-at-home mom. Mrs. Bush decided to take advantage of the controversy and challenge the young women: "to cherish their human connections. And she went on to say, “As important as your obligations as a doctor, lawyer or business leader will be, you are a human being first and those human connections—with spouses, with children, with friends—are the most important investments you will ever make. At the end of your life, you will never regret not having passed one more test, not winning one more verdict, or not closing one more deal. You will regret time not spent with a husband, a friend, a child or a parent. … Whatever the era … whatever the times, one thing will never change: Fathers and mothers, if you have children … they must come first. You must read to your children, you must hug your children, you must love your children." Mrs. Bush concludes, "Your success as a family … our success as a society … depends not on what happens at the White House, but on what happens inside your house.”

It is so true what Mrs. Bush had to say. The health and the success of our Church, society largely depends on how healthy our marriages, homes and families are. In our success driven western society the pure pleasure of marriage, the joys of parenting, the satisfaction of building a family and home is not held in the highest regard. Today we are concluding our study of Paul’s letter to the Colossian Church. Isn’t it interesting that Paul being a single man himself made it a point in several of his letters to the new churches to give advice to families.

It seems to me that he wanted to make sure that the new Christians didn’t go of on some super spiritual tangent thinking that the spiritual life has nothing to do with how we relate to our family. The opposite is true, let’s find out what Paul was saying to families in Colossians 3: 18-21. Paul was addressing four key relational principles between wives, husbands, children and parents (fathers). Let’s look at them one by one.

I.WIVES SUBMIT TO YOUR HUSBANDS (Vs 18)

The very mention of words like marriage and family can evoke unpleasant memories and reactions in some. I do however believe that it is extremely important that we understand marriage, family and parenting from a Biblical point of view rather than by the dictates of our popular culture. Paul begins his discourse by first addressing the wives. Vs 18“Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.”

Over the centuries many Christian husbands, leaders and pastors have used this and other related verses to keep women under subordination. No wonder why many women react to this scripture. Some argue according to Gal 3:28, “There is neither Jew, nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” We all are equal in Christ therefore they say my husband can not boss over me. Others soft peddle the meaning of the word “submission” they say it means “respect” I looked at both the standard and contemporary Bibles where the Greek word here was translated as “submit.” Elsewhere Paul writes, “The wife must respect her husband” (Eph 5:33). In Greek respect literally means, “To be afraid of, or fear.

For Paul, both submission and respect were separate and equally important. So let’s not mix them. Paul used these two strong commands to address the problem of “lack of submission and respect. What does submission mean? Does it mean that the husband can demand any and everything from his wife? Or the wife should always be subservient to her husband?

The Life application Study Bible provides great insights about submission: “God ordained submission in certain relationships to prevent chaos. It is essential to understand that submission is not surrender, withdrawal, or apathy. It does not mean inferiority. Submission is mutual commitment and cooperation. Thus God calls for submission among equals. He did not make the man superior; he made a way for man and woman to work together. Jesus Christ, although equal with God the Father, submitted to Him to carry out the plan for salvation. Likewise, although equal to man under God, the wife should submit to her husband for the sake of their marriage and family.[1]

When Paul says, “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.” In a way he was saying, “Wives, when you submit to your husbands you are doing the right thing and it pleases the Lord. Christ gave up voluntarily his rights and submitted to God; likewise the wives should voluntarily give up their rights to rule and control and submit to their husbands. Wives how do you know that you are in submission to your husbands? You are submitting to your husband when you consider his opinions better than yours, respect his authority at home and in public, let go of your point of view in order to accommodate his, fit into his plans instead of your husband fitting into yours.

Elisabeth Elliot once commented, “true liberation comes with humble submission to God's original design." That original design in the marriage is that wives should submit to their husbands because he is the head of the family. This is radical and counter cultural. The modern woman finds it hard to submit to her husband. However difficult it may sound when wives finally learn to submit to their husbands they will find healing, protection, and freedom, more over it is expected of every Godly wife. If wives are called to submit to their husbands what is expected of husbands?

II. HUSBANDS LOVE YOUR WIVES :( Vs 19)

Most couples in the western world enter marriage via the vehicle of love. But as the years pass by the vehicle of love seem to get rusted due to lack of maintenance or negligence and eventually it stops functioning. Who is responsible to see love maintained in a marriage? What does the Bible say about whose responsibility is to love? We know it takes two people to work on their marriage; however the Bible does seem to put more responsibility on the husband when it comes to loving their wives. We read in Vs 19, “Husbands love your wives and do not be harsh with them” What does this mean? How should a husband love his wife?

Paul gives three principles to husbands in loving their wives; we read them in Ephesians 5: 25-31. Firstly, it is sacrifice (v. 25). If men are to demonstrate Christ-like love to wives, it is to be sacrificial (v. 25). Your love for your wife must cost you something. It could be your time, energies, interests and at times your wallet. Your marriage is worth any sacrifice.

Secondly, it is partnership. Husbands share a mysterious “One flesh” relationship with their wives. (Vs 31). In marriage husband and wives are a team, they are partners and they share a union of shared interests and companionship. One flesh means regular compromise from both sides of the relationship. In other words not taking each other for granted. Thirdly, it is nourishment. A husband should love his wife the way he loves his own body: “He nourishes and tenderly cares for his body” (v. 29). A husband must nurture his wife emotionally.

How is your wife nourished by you and your marriage? How is she a healthier follower of Christ because of you? Do you know what makes your wife emotionally loved? Though their emotional needs may vary, most women crave for one thing more than any thing else from their husbands that is “Spending Quality time with them”

In this busy world whether they are newly married trying to manage jobs and the household for the first time, parents juggling kids schedules, the empty nesters with lot of activities most couples feel strapped for time. Unless we make time we will never have quality time with our wives. "The lifeblood of a relationship is your spending time together. Without quality time together, the connection between the couple withers and it becomes increasingly difficult to reconnect.” Yet, how many husbands ignore this emotional need of their wives, for their own detriment?

Spending quality time with your wife doesn’t have to cost you the world, with a little bit of creativity you can have quality time. Here are a few simple ways where you can have fun with each other. Turn off the TV, sit on the couch, and drink coffee together, while looking into her eyes share how your day was and ask her how her day was. Go for a walk together and let her talk while you both walk. Find a baby sitter and take her out for dinner just two of you. Lock the door behind you and put a “Do Not Disturb Sign” on the door knob, your children will understand that you both are a team and you need time with each other. There are many ways to spend quality time with our wives if only we see it as important and care to invest in it.

In a marriage when the wife submits to her husband and husband loves his wife as Christ loved the Church that marriage will be like heaven on earth. A family usually consists of not only a husband and wife but also children. If we want a healthy family, each one must learn to play their roles well. What is the role of children? How are the fathers to treat their children?

III. CHILDREN OBEY YOUR PARENTS (Vs 20)

Though Paul had never been married and never had children of his own he stresses that children obey their parents in everything for this pleases the Lord. Traditionally obedience is regarded as a virtue. Children have been expected to be obedient to their elders.

The kind of widespread and accepted disobedience we see as the cultural norm today however is a sign of the end times. The bible says, children are “disobedient to their parents.”(2 Tim 3:3) When it comes to obedience who is our reference point? Jesus Christ is our example. He was tested in his obedience by his earthly parents and His heavenly father. His first test came at the age of twelve. Do you remember the story where Jesus stayed back in the temple in Jerusalem after attending the feast of the Passover along with parents? After three days of searching his parents found him in the temple and had a hearty word with him. After that, “he went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them….And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and men.”(Lk 2:51-52).

Children learn to obey your parents in all things if you want to become wise and live longer on this earth. Parents it is your responsibility to teach your children to obey you. But how do we do that? Is it by force and intimidation? Let’s see what Paul has to say about how fathers should relate to their children.

IV. FATHERS DO NOT PROVOKE YOUR CHILDREN TO ANGER (Vs 21)

Parents must learn the language of love, acceptance and affirmation when it comes to raising children. Paul gives specific instructions to the fathers here keeping up with the traditions of a Jewish home where fathers played a crucial role in instructing or training children. He reminds fathers to be gentle and loving in disciplining their children. They are not to provoke them to anger otherwise they will loose heart. As a father I asked my self a question, what would provoke my children to anger? I came up with the following answers: unjust punishment, lack of affirmation, constant nagging and fault finding, cutting words or remarks, comparing them with others specially their success or lack of it, being strict and heavy handed, not giving them grace when they fail and make mistakes.

Parents must realize that the approval and affirmation by their parents especially fathers is crucial for the overall development of a child. When a child is loved, accepted, and affirmed at home he or she seldom seek for love outside of the house in wrong places. It is interesting that Paul would address these issues of the home in the first century itself by doing so in a way he paved the way for healthy homes and marriages which is according to God’s plan and purpose.

In conclusion let me repeat these four key principles of family relations. 1. Wives submit to your husbands as it is fitting in the Lord 2. Husbands love your wives and do not be harsh with them. 3. Children obey your parents in everything for this pleases the Lord. 4. Fathers do not provoke your children to anger that the may not loose heart. Let’s remember, we can only do all of these things when we keep Christ as our reference point. Amen

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[1] Life Application Study Bible, NIV, 1930,