THE HEALING POWER OF FORGIVENESS
(The Lord’s Prayer Part V) Matthew 18:21-35
Here is a real story of
what forgiveness can do. “Rev. Walter H. Everett answered the phone, unprepared
for the words he heard: “Scott was murdered last night” Walter’s anger toward
his son’s killer raged through him like a riptide, growing even worse when a
plea bargain resulted in a reduced sentence for the attacker.
My
rage was affecting my entire life. How am I going to let go of this anger? I
wondered. The answer came the first time I saw Mike, almost a year after
Scott’s death. Mike stood in court prior to his sentencing and said he was
truly sorry for what he had done. On the
first anniversary of Scott’s death, I wrote to Mike. I told him about my anger
and asked him some pointed questions. Then I wrote, “Having said all that, I
want to thank you for what you said in court, and as hard as these words are
for me to write, I forgive you.” I wrote of God’s love and invited Mike tow
write to me if he wished. Three weeks
later his letter arrived. He said that when he had read my letter, he couldn’t
believe it. No one had ever said to him, “I forgive you.” That night he had
knelt beside his bunk and prayed for and received the forgiveness of Jesus
Christ.
Additional
correspondence led to regular visits with Mike in prison. Later I spoke on
Mike’s behalf before a parole board, and he was given an early release. In
November 1994, I was officiating minister at his wedding. When asked about his
early release, Mike says, “it felt good, but I was already out of prison God
had set me free when I asked his forgiveness.”[1] We
have been studying on the Lord’s Prayer, in which Jesus taught his disciples a
pre-requisite for forgiveness of their sins. Let’s look at this part of the
Lord’s Prayer: “Forgive us our sins, for
we also forgive everyone who sins against us. THE HEALING POWER OF FORGIVENESS.
This
portion of the Lord’s prayer deals with the need of forgiveness. Matthew
records it as, “and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.”
In the parallel passage in Luke 11:4 we read, “and forgive us our sins, for we
ourselves forgive everyone who is indebted to us.” I prefer to pray “forgive
our sins” as it reminds me to be grateful for God’s forgiveness of my many
sins. I am forgiven therefore I need to forgive others. The context of this
prayer indicates that Jesus was not praying about forgiveness of our physical
(financial debts), but spiritual debts of sin. We all are sinners, and sinners are
debtors to God for their violations of his laws. What are the consequences of
unforgiveness? Why forgiveness is so important and what are the benefits of
forgiveness? Let’s look at some of the devastating effects of unforgiveness.
I. THE
CONSEQUENCES OF UNFORGIVENESS
We often hear people saying, “I will never
forgive that person in my life.” That is unforgiveness. It
is unwilling or unable to forgive. According to some clinical studies, “Unforgiveness has been
defined as a “cold emotion” that involves feelings of resentment, bitterness,
and even hatred. It is the inability to forgive others who have committed a
transgression.”[2] How many families were
broken apart, marriages, ruined and churches split, due to this relentless
attitude called unforgiveness? The numbers can be staggering.
Joyce
Meyer notes, “Many people ruin their health and their lives by taking the
poison of bitterness, resentment and unforgiveness.”[3] How
does the scripture define unforgiveness? A simple definition of unforgiveness
is not having “the compassion to forgive.
Here
is a parable in Matt 18:21-33. Shortly, perhaps after listening
to this teaching on the need to forgive inorder to be forgiven, Peter comes to
Jesus with a logical question saying:
How
many times do I forgive my brother who hurts me? Seven? Jesus replied, “Seven! Hardly. Try seven
times seven. During that time the Rabbis, citing several verses from the book
of Amos Chapter one, (1:3,6,9,11,13) taught that since God forgave Israeli’s
enemies only three times, it was presumptuous and unnecessarily to forgive
anyone more than three times. Peter may have thought, he was excelling the pharisees, through his
generous approach to forgiveness.
Jesus
told a parable to put Peter in place: “The kingdom of God is like a king who
decided to square accounts with his servants. As he got under way, one servant
was brought before him who had run up a debt of a hundred thousand dollars.
He couldn’t pay up, so the king ordered the man, along with his wife, children,
and goods, to be auctioned off at the slave market. The poor wretch threw
himself at the king’s feet and begged, ‘Give me a chance and I’ll pay it all
back.’ Touched by his plea, the king let him off, forgiving the debt.
“The
servant was no sooner out of the room when he came upon one of his fellow
servants who owed him ten dollars. He seized him by the
throat and demanded, ‘Pay up. Now!’ “The poor wretch threw himself down and
begged, ‘Give me a chance and I’ll pay it all back.’ But he wouldn’t do it. He
had him arrested and put in jail until the debt was paid.
When
the other servants saw this going on, they were outraged and brought a detailed
report to the king. “The king summoned the man and said, ‘You evil servant! I
forgave your entire debt when you begged me for mercy. Shouldn’t you be
compelled to be merciful to your fellow servant who asked for mercy?’ The king
was furious and put the screws to the man until he paid back his entire debt. And that’s exactly what my Father in heaven
is going to do to each one of you who doesn’t forgive unconditionally anyone
who asks for mercy.” The moral of this story is “God forgave you unconditionally therefore
you are to forgive others unconditionally as well”. Let’s look at what
forgiveness is, its importance and its power of healing.
II. THE
IMPORTANCE OF FORGIVENESS.
Forgiveness
is the action or process of forgiving or being forgiven. Merriam-Webster
Dictionary defines it in more practical terms: To stop feeling anger toward
(someone who has done something wrong): to stop blaming (someone): to stop
feeling anger about (something): to forgive someone for (something wrong): to
stop requiring payment of (money that is owed). According to the scriptures when it comes to forgiving the sins of human
beings is only the prerogative of God. Nehemiah acknowledges that our God is a
God of forgiveness. Nehemiah 9:17, “But you are a God ready to forgive,
gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, and did
not forsake them.” David pleads God to, “Consider my affliction and my trouble,
and forgive all my sins.” Psalm 25:18 For the Lord declares, “For I will
forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more.” Jeremiah 31:34
During
his ministry whenever Jesus healed someone he would often say, “your sins are
forgiven.” He said that so that people then and us now know that “the Son of
Man has authority on earth to forgive sins” Yes, when it comes to forgiving our
SINS, Jesus, who is also God could only forgive, no pastor, priest or not even
Pope could forgive our sins. Then how about the prayer where we are taught “to
forgive other’s sins” and elsewhere it is written that we are to “forgive one
another,”? Ephesians 4: 32, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving
one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” How are we to understand these
scriptures?
According
to the Apostle Paul, Jesus cancelled our huge debt of SIN. Colossians 2:14, “God
made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the
charge of our legal indebtedness, which stood against us and condemned us; he
has taken it away, nailing it to the cross.” In other words, God forgave our
major SINS such as Unbelief and Pride. Now it is our turn to forgive those who
commit minor offenses against us.
For
example, someone in the Church doesn’t greet you when you walk through the
doors or makes an insensitive comment about your looks. Or the kind of dress
you are wearing. Or forget your name or mis spoke your name, is that the end of
the world? Are you going to hold that offense against them, or you are going to
forgive them and forget that offense?
That’s
what Jesus is addressing through this prayer, “forgive our sins as we forgive
the sins of others.” It is more often the offenses that other commit against us
are negligible than the sins that we commit against God. But our God is
gracious and compassionate to forgive our major sins however gruesome they may
be. Why is forgiveness so important?
Jesus,
taught us forgiving other’s sins is a prerequisite for us receiving forgiveness
of our own sins. Right after teaching them the Lord’s prayer Jesus leaves his
disciples with this caution Matthew 6:14:15,
“For if
you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive
you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your
Father forgive your trespasses.” If you don’t forgive you will not be forgiven
it is that simple.
We
are not just encouraged but commanded to forgive. Col 3:13, “Bear with each
other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone.
Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” These days we are made to believe that strong
leaders never apologize and asking for forgiveness is a sign of weakness.
According to Mahatma Gandhi, “The weak
can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” You are
strong when you can forgive.
III. THE
HEALING POWER OF FORGIVENESS
Unforgiveness
is the root cause of Bitterness, hatred, resentment and anger. Karen Swartz, (John
Hopkins Psychiatrist) notes, “Forgiveness is not just about saying the words. It
is an active process in which you make a conscious decision to let go of
negative feelings of anger, and resentment towards the person who wronged you
whether that person deserves or not.
As
you release them you begin to feel empathy, compassion, and even sometimes affection
for the person who wronged you.” Forgiveness is first and foremost a matter of
the heart. Towards the end of the parable of the unforgiving servant we find
these words. Matt 18:35, “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you
unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.” I listened to an
interview on CBN as I was preparing this message. Here are a few excerpts of
that interview. “Unforgiveness is classified in medical books as a disease.
According to Dr. Steven Standiford, chief of surgery at the Cancer Treatment
Centers of America, refusing to forgive makes people sick and keeps them that
way.
According
to a research by Dr. Michael Barry a Pastor and the author of the book “The
Forgiveness Project, “Of all cancer patients, 61 percent have forgiveness issues, and of
those, more than half are severe. "Harboring these negative emotions, this
anger and hatred, creates a state of chronic anxiety," "Chronic
anxiety very predictably produces excess adrenaline and cortisol, which deplete
the production of natural killer cells, which is your body's foot soldier in
the fight against cancer," Barry said, "When a person forgives from
the heart which is the gold standard we see in Matthew 18, forgiveness from the
heart we find that they are able to find a sense of peacefulness. Quite often
our patients refer to that as a feeling of lightness,"[4].
What
powerful findings based on the parable in Matthew 18.I encourage you to go home
and read it again. God has placed a cure
for cancer in His holy scriptures. What are you holding on to today? My prayer
is that as you choose to forgive and surrender to your loving heavenly Father,
you’ll begin to experience the freedom and healing that comes through forgiveness.
[1]
Walter H. Everett, “Forgiving the Man Who Killed My Son.” Decision, December
1996, 32
[2] Worthington
E, Wade N. The psychology of unforgiveness and forgiveness and implications for
clinical practice. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology.
1999;18(4):358–418. [Ref list]
[3] https://www.joycemeyer.org/everydayanswers/ea-teachings/the-poison-of-unforgiveness
[4] http://www1.cbn.com/cbnnews/healthscience/2015/june/the-deadly-consequences-of-unforgiveness
