FINDING COMMON GROUND

 

FINDING COMMON GROUND

            The 2020 elections have been highly polarized. They have exposed and further widened the already existing gap among various groups of people in this country. How could politicians get anything done in this highly divided country? That is about politics. How about our religious and cultural views? How conflicting are they? How could the Church effectively share the Good News in a country with several religions and opinions on any matter?

            In our Pastor's small group, we had a passionate discussion on human rights. Though we had varied opinions on what they are, we agreed with what our founders said in the declaration of independence, "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."[1]

            As American citizens, we are passionate about pursuing and protecting these rights. But as citizens of the Kingdom and followers of Christ, how do we understand human rights? According to scriptures, what rights do we have? Are we to hold on to them rigidly and fight for them, or may we sometimes be called to give them up for the sake of the Gospel?

            Last week we looked at Paul's willingness to give up his right to eat meat. The first fifteen verses in chapter nine list his fundamental rights as a believer and an apostle. After explaining how he gave them up voluntarily, he described how he related to everyone.

            It looked like some believers in the Corinthian Church challenged Paul's credibility and authority as an apostle. To counter that challenge, he posed fifteen questions to his challengers. He silenced the accusers by asserting, he was a free man like everyone else, that he was an apostle who had indeed seen Jesus our Lord. Then he lists out his fundamental rights.

I. PAUL GIVES UP HIS BASIC RIGHTS (I Cor 9:1-15)

            He argued that he was entitled to food, drink, housing, and taking a believing wife along, like other apostles and brothers like Peter. He asserted his right to support from the Corinthians because he preached the Gospel to them.  Vs.14, "In the same way, the Lord ordered that those who preach the Good News should be supported by those who benefit from it."

            This is one of the reasons why at Hope Church, we take supporting our missionaries and our Pastor or visiting speakers seriously. We can live without all the extra comforts in the Church, but we never want to withhold our support to those out there spreading the Gospel.

            My mother was a great example of supporting, visiting pastors, missionaries, and evangelists. She kept a box with extra money from her salary and gave it to whoever dropped by our house to pray. In YWAM, our family experienced the generosity of many believers worldwide. Some supported us from their hard earnings and savings.

            Supporting those who preach the Gospel is not just a good idea but was ordered by God. When we are generous towards missionaries and evangelists, God will be gracious towards us. Paul reminded them about this fundamental right. He also said that he never used that right or any other rights in Corinth except receiving support from other churches. Col 4:15-17

            I Cor 9:15-16 "Yet I have never used any of these rights. And I am not writing this to suggest that I want to start now. In fact, I would rather die than lose my right to boast about preaching without charge. 16 Yet preaching the Good News is not something I can boast about. I am compelled by God to do it. How terrible for me if I didn't preach the Good News!

            Though he had all the rights, Paul never demanded his rights. He was willing to let go of all of them except his right to preach the Good News without charge. To an extent, he cried out how terrible it was for him if he didn't preach it. What is your view of the Good News?

II. THE GOOD NEWS STEWARDS

            Vs. 17-18, "If I were doing this on my own initiative, I would deserve payment. But I have no choice, for God has given me this sacred trust. (Stewardship entrusted to me, NASB). 18 What then is my pay? It is the opportunity to preach the Good News without charging anyone. That's why I never demand my rights when I preach the Good News."

            Paul saw himself as a steward of the Good News. God entrusted to him this sacred trust. While writing to Ephesians and Colossians, he affirms this God-given responsibility. Ephesians 3:2-3 "by the way that you know, God gave me the special responsibility of extending his grace to you Gentiles. 3 As I briefly wrote earlier, God himself revealed his mysterious plan to me."

            Colossians 1:25, "God has given me the responsibility of serving his church by proclaiming his entire message to you." We see three action verbs here, and they are, extending, proclaiming, and serving, partly describing Paul's job as a steward of the Good News.  

            What is stewardship? "It is the careful and responsible management of something entrusted to one's care, stewardship of natural resources."[2] Other words for steward are waiter attendant (like the flight attendant), administrator, etc. So as a steward or administrator, what was Paul given to administer, discharge, distribute or give to others? It was the Good News.

            How do you define Good News? First, the bad news, we all are sinners and need a savior. When we die without repenting of our sins, we will suffer in hell forever. The Good news is that God loved us very much, and he did not want us to go to hell, so he sent Jesus into this world.

            Jesus preached the message of repentance. He healed the sick, fed the hungry, and delivered people bound by Satan. He died on the cross for our sins and rose again on the third day. Whoever believes in Jesus will live forever in heaven with God. That is Good News.

            Is the Good News meant to keep it for ourselves or share it with others? Along with Paul and other disciples, we too have become Good News Stewards. How are we to give this Good News away to others? We are to give it freely without charging anything for it.

            In the eighties, I used to sing this song passionately "God forgave my sins in Jesus' name I've been born again in Jesus' name And in Jesus' name I come to you. To share His love as He told me to. He said, freely, freely you have received, Freely freely give. Go in My name, and because you believe, Others will know that I live." Matthew 10:5-8

            Paul recognized he was the worst of sinners, undeserving of God's mercy, yet Jesus met him on the Road of Damascus and opened his blind eyes so that he could see the Light of salvation. Jesus commissioned him to go to the Gentiles to open their blind eyes so that they may turn from darkness to Light and from the power of Satan to God. Acts 26:18

            Sharing the good news with others is not like a blind man leading another blind man, but a healed blind man opening the eyes of others who are blinded by Satan so that they may see the Light. Paul was grateful that Christ had saved him. God compelled him to share the Good News with others without charge. His only reward was the opportunity to share it with others.

            Paul went to great lengths and took dangerous risks to share the Good News with others. Even though Paul was a free man, he considered himself a slave to all people. With the hope that he would bring many people to saving faith in Christ Jesus our Lord. Is that our hope too?

            The late Leonard Ravenhill noted, "Could a mariner sit idle if he heard the drowning cry? Could a doctor sit in comfort and just let his patients die? Could a fireman sit idle, let men burn, and give no hand? Can you sit at ease in Zion with the world around you damned? You may be convicted by the Holy Spirit and asking me, "I want to be like Paul and share the Good News with others, but how do I do it? I am glad you ask me. Here is how we can do it. 

III. FINDING COMMON GROUND

            Vs.22, "When I am with those who are weak, I share their weakness, for I want to bring the weak to Christ. Yes, I try to find common ground with everyone, doing everything I can to save some. I do everything to spread the Good News and share in its blessings."

            Paul tried to find common ground with everyone and did all he could do to save some. Finding common ground with others in our society is not always easy, but it is worth trying. It is like Congress and the Senate trying to pass bipartisan bills. In most situations, members would vote according to party lines. But when they can find common ground and pass bills of national interests, we all can share in its blessings. Similarly, sharing the Good News with others.

            Finding common ground doesn't mean compromising our faith but finding common interests and building from there. For example, Jesus meeting the Samaritan woman at the well. Both Jesus and the woman had one thing in common; they needed water. Jesus was thirsty and needed a cup of water. The woman came to get a pail of water from the well. Finding common ground, Jesus ultimately led the woman to acknowledge her more profound need for a savior. She came for a pail of water; He gave her the wellspring of living water.

            Here are a few pointers that might help us find common ground. 1. In our first encounter with people, please don't rush to share the whole Gospel with them. They may not be ready yet to receive the fantastic news you are so eager to share with them. Be patient with them.

            2. Be aware that every person you meet is made in the image of God and of infinite worth. 3. Be interested in others. Learn to ask good questions; for example, what has it been like living through the pandemic or change of job? Tell me a bit about your journey etc. 4. Be a good listener. 5. Meet them where they are at and gently lead them where they need to go. That is what Christ has done for us. Let us go out and find common ground to share the Good News. Amen!

 

                 

  

           

 

 

 

  

 

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[1] https://billofrightsinstitute.org/primary-sources/declaration-of-independence

[2] https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/stewardship

The Ministry of Singlehood

                                              THE MINISTRY OF SINGLEHOOD

            Kate Bolick wrote an article for The Atlantic magazine looking at attitudes towards single women like her. She noted that many single women still long for marriage and have a fear of lifelong singleness. She says that she experienced "panicked exhaustion" around the age of 36. (She was 39 at the time of the article). She felt an intense need to marry immediately, even if it meant settling for a less than desirable or "qualified" man.

            She interviewed several single women in their early 20s. When she asked them if they wanted to get married and, if so, at what age? They all answered "yes" and wanted to be married by the age of 27 or 28. She reminded them of her age (39) and suggested that they could still be single at that age. She asked, "Does that freak you out?" She reports, "again they nodded." Then one young woman whispered, "I don't think I can bear doing this for that long."

            This interview captures the pain and honesty around singleness—for both men and women. But it also highlights the need for a better way to think about singleness, the high view of singleness found in the Bible."[1] "Once upon a time in America, marriage was the norm for adults of a certain age. But now, for the first time since 1976, the number of single people outnumber married people: About 50.2 percent or 124.6 million American adults are single—in 1950, that number sat around 22 percent."[2] A lot of people in this country are single.       

            Last week we focused on marriages and married couples. Today we will be focusing on singles. If you are single for whatever reason, you are very welcome here. We love our singles as much as we value and love married couples, families, and children at Hope Church. Singles are not overlooked here. They matter and have a lot to contribute to the Ministry of Hope Church, perhaps more than married couples. I title this message "The Ministry of Singlehood."

            The Apostle Paul took a firm stand when addressing marriage, married couples, and divorce. He said, Vs.10, "a command that comes not from me, but from the Lord." But when addressing young women who were not yet married or singles, he was a bit softer. Vs. 25, "I do not have a command from the Lord for them. But the Lord in his mercy has given me wisdom that can be trusted, and I will share it with you." Keep that in mind as we explore this passage.

 

I. WHAT ABOUT VIRGINS AND MARRIAGE?

             Remember, Paul was addressing a question regarding the young women who were not yet married. The question may have gone something like this, is it better to remain single or married? Or whether married or single, how are we to live our lives? Paul answered tactfully, Vs. 26, "Because of the present crisis, I think it is best to remain as you are." What did he mean?

            The present crisis here was probably a reference to the pressures of the Christian life in an immoral and particularly hostile environment. Paul may have foreseen the impending persecution that the Roman government would soon bring upon Christians. (2 Tim 3:12).

            Vs. 28, "But if you do get married, it is not a sin. And if a young woman gets married, it is not a sin. However, those who get married at this time will have troubles, and I am trying to spare you those problems." Paul gave this practical advice because being unmarried would mean less suffering and more freedom to spend one's life for the cause of Christ.

            Many people naively think that marriage will solve all their problems. Here are some problems that marriage won't solve:1. Loneliness. 2. Sexual temptations. 3. One's emotional deepest needs. 4. Life's difficulties. As wonderful as marriage is, marriage doesn't automatically solve every problem.

            Whether married or single, we must be content with our situation and focus on Jesus Christ, not on our loved ones, to help address our problems.  In verses 29-31, Paul urges Christians to live for the Lord, whether married, widowed, divorced, or single.

 

II.THE CLOCK IS TICKING! (Vs. 29-31)

            Vs.29-31, "I do want to point out, friends, that time is of the essence. There is no time to waste, so don't complicate your lives unnecessarily. Keep it simple—in marriage, grief, joy, whatever. Even in ordinary things—your daily routines of shopping, and so on. Deal as sparingly as possible with the things the world thrusts on you. This world as you see it is fading away."

            Eugene Peterson captured the essence of these verses and put them in contemporary language. The apostle explains that the time for doing the Lord's work is short and perhaps coming to an end. This is not necessarily a reference to the second coming of Christ, for Paul may have been anticipating persecutions and possible curtailment of freedom of religion.

            In light of what was to come, Paul urged Christians to live in freedom from the entanglements of marriage, material positions, and beyond sadness and joy that life may bring upon them. In other words, "Live for the Lord, in all matters of life," What does this mean for us?

            Just like during Paul's times, Christians in many places are facing persecution. As the scripture suggests, "the world and its desires soon pass away." It is becoming harder and harder for Christians to live by, practice, and propagate their faith in this hostile environment.

            The window to preach the gospel is rapidly closing down. The clock is ticking for the return of our Lord Jesus Christ. In light of that, how are we to live our lives today? What should be our priorities? Are we to live selfishly to please ourselves or to please our Lord? After addressing the married, the Apostle Paul highlights the benefits of singles and unmarried ones.

 

III. THE MINISTRY OF SINGLEHOOD. (Vs. 32-35) 

            Are the singles missing out in life? Are they free of complications and having the best of their time? It depends on who you ask and how you approach Singlehood. Some might see it as a curse, but the scriptures place a higher view. Paul sees Singlehood as a Gift from the Lord.

            Vs7, "But I wish everyone were single, just as I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another." Paul was not jealous of married people; instead, he recognized either you are married or single, see it as a special gift from God.

            When he said, He was in the same line of thinking as Jesus. While addressing a concern on divorce, Jesus responded to his disciples, who said, "If this is the case, it is better not to marry." "Not everyone can accept this statement," Jesus said. Only those whom God helps… some chose not to marry for the sake of the Kingdom of heaven." Matthew 19:11-12

            The essence of this scripture is that many are called to marry and have a family in life. But to some, God gives a unique gift of Singlehood and extra help to remain single.  They choose not to marry for the sake of the Kingdom. May God bless such individuals. 

             I view Singlehood as an opportunity for ministry directed unto the Lord and his people. Singles have time, capacity, and fewer encumberments to do ministry more than the married couples. That was what the Apostle Paul alluded to in these verses. I read from (The Message).

               32-35 "I want you to live as free of complications as possible. When you're unmarried, you're free to concentrate on simply pleasing the Master. Marriage involves you in all the nuts and bolts of domestic life and in wanting to please your spouse, leading to so many more demands on your attention. The time and energy that married people spend on caring for and nurturing each other, the unmarried can spend in becoming whole and holy instruments of God. I'm trying to be helpful and make it as easy as possible for you, not make things harder. All I want is for you to be able to develop a way of life in which you can spend plenty of time together with the Master without a lot of distractions." There is nothing more I can explain here. All I want to say is that the benefits outweigh the challenges of Singlehood for the singles.

            Here are some of Singlehood's benefits. First, the essence of time. You have more time to serve the Lord and the people of God through hospitality and other acts of service. Second, you are free from the challenges and responsibilities of married couples. Third, you can be focused on pleasing the Lord. Fourth you can be devoted to the Lord and in body and spirit.

            Let me give you a biblical and real-time example of Singlehood. Anna, the prophetess! Anna was the daughter of Phanuel from the tribe of Asher. Her husband died after seven years of marriage, and she remained as a widow to the age of eighty-four. One wonders how did Anna manage to stay single? Anna lived in a different realm of reality. The temple of God became her dwelling place, and she sustained herself worshipping God with fasting and prayer. Her expectation of the Messiah probably gave strength and hope in her Singlehood. Anna praised God when she finally saw baby Jesus in the temple. Lk 2:36-38

            Wilma and I have a dear friend and an intercessor who lives on Cape Cod.  She is a messianic Jew. She is single and has never been married. I asked her if she had any words of encouragement for singles. Here is her testimony: "Although I've had ten proposals of marriage. I'm still single. One can serve the Lord Jesus, free of distractions when single, have more creativity, more energy to do His service, using the gifts He's entrusted to each person. 

            I like to serve the Body of Christ thru singing, writing books, and discipling. I can be accessible in the evenings to disciple people.  I would probably be at home if I were married, cooking dinner for my husband and the kids. There is also more creativity in being single.  I just cut my 3rd vocal CD of old hymns. Being single has responsibilities, though. We still have to pay the bills, cook food, do laundry, etc." Anna and Genie saw Singlehood as a Ministry.

            If you are single for whatever reason, don't lose hope. See it as a special gift from God. You have a ministry of Singlehood. Use your skills and talents in serving the Lord. Amen!

 

 

 

 

              

 

 

 

 

 

           

           

             

             

 

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[1] Source: Adapted from Christina S. Hitchcock, The Significance of Singleness (Baker Books, 2018), pages 4-5

https://www.wnycstudios.org/podcasts/takeaway/segments/more-half-americans-are-single[2]

The Ministry Of Marriage

                                             THE MINISTRY OF MARRIAGE

            A man died and went up to heaven. Upon arriving, he noticed two signs. One said, "Men Who Are Bossed By Their wives," the other said, "Men Not Bossed By Their Wives." After closer inspection, he noticed that while next to the first sign was a big line, there was just one man by the second sign. After getting even closer, he realized it was his friend Jack.

            "Hey Jack," the man questioned, "what in the world are you doing here? Your wife bosses you around more than anybody." "I don't know," Jack replied, "my wife told me to stand here." It is good to laugh occasionally, especially when things get a bit dicey in marriage.

            Last week we dealt with a complex subject in regards to Christians & Lawsuits. In Chapter seven, the apostle Paul seems to be having a Question-and-Answer time with his congregation. He addressed some questions raised by the Corinthian believers regarding Sex, Marriage, divorce, Singlehood, dealing with an unbelieving spouse, and other matters.

            I encourage you to read this whole chapter at home and see what you can learn from it, as it is laden with rich relationship principles. For our time together, I will deal with one significant theme. I call this is an often-overlooked area of ministry God has given to us. The Ministry of Marriage. I Corinthians 7:1-7, 29-35. Let me say something about the title.

I. THE MINISTRY OF MARRIAGE.

            I chose the title “The Ministry of Marriage " for this passage because I view marriage as a God-given Ministry to all married people, mainly Christian couples. In other words, it is a sacred obligation of service to one another. Our English word “deacon” is related to the Greek word Diakonia, sometimes translated as “ministry.” Ministry means service and labor.

            In any ministry, several components, including servanthood, loyalty, compassionate love, sacrifice, hard work, giving up rights, etc., are found. Similarly, these components are to be the basis of any marriage. Wilma and I got married in our late twenties.

            Coming from two different cultures, we had to work hard to cultivate certain habits to build and sustain our marriage. We have read several books on marriage and attended workshops, above all applied principles from God’s word to maintain a healthy, vibrant, and fulfilling Marriage. We are not marriage experts but passionate practitioners.

            At this age, it takes more hard work and intentionality. We realized we could use some help to make some adjustments. Wilma picked up a book titled “Marriage in the Middle by Dorothy Littell Greco, which has some excellent ideas for couples in midlife. I will share some principles from this book and Paul’s exhortations. Ironically, Paul was never married.

            Vs.1-2, "Now regarding the questions, you asked in your letter. Yes, it is good to abstain from sexual relations. But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband."

            The Corinthians wrote to Paul, asking him a question, "is it a good thing for a man to have sexual relations or abstain from it? Paul answered, saying that it is good for a man to abstain from sexual relations. Since Corinth had so much sexual immorality, he urged that each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband."

             We live in a world where we are constantly bombarded by hypersexual images and a twisted understanding of Sex and Sexuality. Yet as believers in the Lord, we are called to a higher standard of integrity regarding living, especially as married couples. The apostle Paul lays out a pathway to healthier and much more fulfilling marriages. Some of the principles found in this passage go against popular culture and its understanding of morality.

            “Vs.3-4, "The husband should fulfill his wife's sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband's needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife."

II SEXUAL INTIMACY IN MARRIAGE

            After stressing that each man should have his own wife and each woman should have her own husband, he explains the solemn duties that each other must fulfill in the Ministry of Marriage. God’s intention in marriage is that a husband and wife meet each other’s sexual needs.   Dorothy notes, “Sex is not designed to simply be a momentary act of pleasure between two consenting adults. God intends for Sex to be an essential component of a covenanted marriage that draws two people into deeper emotional and spiritual Intimacy even as it brings profound pleasure. Rather than being inherently carnal and self-centered.

            God's design elevates conjugal love as a symbol of Christ's union to the Church, making Sex both spiritual and sacrificial. In fact, when we prioritize our spouse's needs and make love with an awareness of the Holy Spirit's presence, it results in Sex that's truly transcendent."[1]              When we keep God in the center of our lives, honor and respect one another, Sexual Intimacy fulfills our physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. In verses 3-4, Paul mentions two key ingredients that enhance sexual Intimacy. They are Oneness and Mutuality.

A. ONENESS:

             When Paul said, "The husband should fulfill his wife's sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband's needs,” he may have had God’s original formula of leaving and cleaving and becoming one. Genesis 2:24, “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” Paul’s Jewish audience was aware of the oneness theme.

            They prayed morning and evening what is known as “Shema.”  “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one,” Deut 6:4, perhaps to remind them in Trinity, where all three persons maintain their individuality and yet function as one being.

            Dorothy notes, in her book, “God designed marriage and marital intimacy to join together two distinct individuals who never lose their own identity and yet as a team become something more.” The desire to make love to attain oneness reflects that we are created in the image of God.   In Ephesians 5:30-32, Paul compares this physical oneness in marriage to the union of the Church with Christ. “And we are members of his body. As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the Church are one.”

             Understanding oneness as both spiritual and physical adds layers of dimensionality to our intimate lives. After emphasizing oneness, Paul introduced the idea of Mutuality. Vs.4, “The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife.” The authority here is not to control or manipulate but to serve one another in love.

B. MUTUALITY.

            This verse suggests that a husband and wife should mutually recognize that their bodies do not belong to them entirely. They are also encouraged to give authority to their spouse over their bodies voluntarily. This thought of Mutuality was revolutionary in Paul’s time.

            At that time, women were seen as subservient and were expected to satisfy men’s sexual and other needs. They were looked at as mere objects of man’s pleasure. Unfortunately, this thinking still circles around in many parts of the world, including our country. Dorothy notes: “The goal of mutuality in the bedroom was and continues to be a radical departure of all cultural norms.” 

            I must admit here, Wilma has been drilling this principle of Mutuality for the past twenty-five years. I slowly understand what Mutuality is all about. Dorothy's husband Christopher has a bit of advice for men. “Men, we will experience richer, deeper, more fulfilling sex with our wives if we don’t push them or expect Sex more frequently than they can engage. Women are often labeled as selfish or stubborn if they show any disinterest. There is typically a lot more going on.” 

           If you want to have fulfilling sexual Intimacy in marriage, the “my way or the highway” approach won’t work. It has to be mutually agreed upon. To achieve oneness and Mutuality, we need to make sacrifices. When our wives are sick and in pain, we don’t force or manipulate our way. Instead, we will be patient, considerate, and love them sacrificially. Elsewhere, while giving guidelines for happy homes, Paul gives specific instructions to husbands and wives.  Ephesians 5:33, “So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself and the wife must respect her husband.”

            To enjoy Sexual Intimacy in your marriage, here is a cycle of “Love and Respect.” How do we do this practically?  Let’s call it the ministry of small things. Finding out what it is that makes your wife’s or husband's day?  Your wife might be thrilled if you empty the dishwasher or pick up your socks after yourself, or make her a cup of tea or clean the fridge or make a meal or take time to listen to her by turning off your cellphone.    

            Wives, what can you do? You might save your husband stress and please him if he doesn’t return to a messy house after a trip or work, give him a back rub, cook his favorite meal once in a while, or show interest in his hobby. My friend used to say; the smallest deed is greater than the grandest intention. In marriage, it proves to be correct.

            Therefore, let us outdo favors to each other.  We will learn about the ministry of singlehood next week. A closing thought, Good Sex at night begins in the morning by being kind, loving, and respectful of each other. Amen!

 

 

 

 

 

           

           

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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[1] Dorothy Little Greco, "Marriage in the Middle, Page 136