Spirit-Guided Child and Parent Relationships
I vividly remember twenty-eight years ago when I heard
that Wilma conceived and I would be a Dad. My heart flooded with such joy and
pride. When our first daughter Joanna was born, we could hardly wait to see her
opening those bright eyes and look at us each morning.
Seeing her grow up was a delight. God has blessed us
with three such precious gifts. How quickly all of them grew up and became
beautiful young women. Sometimes, we wish to return to their childhood and
cherish them again. That's how it should be with every child. Each one is
fearfully and wonderfully made by God and given as a gift to their parents. Ps
127:3
Here are some quotes about children: "The
child is the beauty of God present in the world, that greatest gift to a
family." Mother Teresa, "Every child
you encounter is a divine appointment." Wess Stafford,
president emeritus of Compassion International. "A
child is a beam of sunlight from the Infinite and Eternal, with possibilities
of virtue and vice, but as yet unstained." Lyman Abbott,
American congregationalist. "Children are our most
valuable resource." Herbert Hoover, 31st president of the
United States. "If I could relive my life, I would
devote my entire ministry to reaching children for God!" Dwight
L. Moody, Evangelist.
Here are a few quotes on raising children.
"The best thing parents can do for
their children is to love each other." Michael Gurian. "It's
not our job to toughen our children up to face a cruel and heartless world. It's
our job to raise children who will make the World a little less cruel and
heartless." R. Knost. "The
best way to raise positive children in a negative world is to have positive
parents who love them unconditionally and serve as excellent role models." Zig Ziglar. "There
is no such thing as a perfect parent. So just be a real one." Sue Atkins.
The scriptures talk a
lot about the rewarding
relationship between Children and Parents. In our passage, Ephesians
6:1-4, the apostle Paul, who never raised his own children, gives some helpful advice
to children and instructions to parents on how to raise godly children.
In this election year, among many
contentious issues, abortion is at the front and center of politics in the USA.
Whatever your political or ideological views on abortion are, as Christians, we
must understand what the Bible says about children, especially unborn children.
I. Biblical View on Children
Various scriptures suggest that life
begins at conception. We must value unborn and born children alike. The
Psalmist praised God for His involvement in the lives of human beings, from the
womb to the tomb. Psalm 139:13-16, "For you created my inmost being; you
knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and
wonderfully made; your works are wonderful. I know that full well. My frame was
not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven
together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the
days ordained for me were written in your book."
Jeremiah 1:5 tells us that God knows us
before He forms us in the womb. Exodus 21:22-25 prescribes the same penalty—death—for someone who causes the
death of a baby in the womb as for someone who commits murder. Therefore, for
the Christian, abortion is not a matter of a woman's right to choose to have a
baby. The baby is already present and living. Abortion is a matter of the life
or death of a human being made in God's image. Genesis 1:26-27; 9:6.
We receive and cherish
children as they are God-given gifts. Ps 127:3-5. "Children's children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their
children." Prov 17:6. There was a time when Christians considered having a
big family a blessing from God.
Jesus warned those who
despise children, saying, "See that you do not despise one of these little
ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my
Father in Heaven. Matt 18:10-11. Therefore, let us watch out for how we deal
with the unborn and the innocent children. Let's hear Paul's advice to children
and instruction to parents.
II. Obedience to our parents rewards wellness
and a long life on the earth
Vs. 1-3, "Children, obey your parents in
the Lord, for this is right. "Honor your father and mother," which is the first
commandment with a promise, "so that it may go well
with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth." Writing to
Colossians, he further qualifies, saying," Children obey your parents in
everything, for this pleases the Lord." Col 3:20.
Here,
Paul referred to one of the Ten Commandments, which promises wellness and long
life to children who obey and honor their parents. As young children, you obey
your parents in everything. You do what you are told without questioning. You
still obey your parents as you grow older, but you do it in the Lord. What does
obeying your parents in the Lord mean?
It
doesn't mean blind obedience. It means standing up to what is right and holding
on to the scriptural truth that pleases God. For instance, if your parents tell
you to lie, cheat in exams, hurt and bully others, steal, or tell you not to go
to Church or read the Bible, then you can disobey your parents because they are
going against God's will. But in all other aspects, it is right for children to obey their
parents so that they might enjoy a long life on earth.
At age
twelve, while returning from a yearly festival, Jesus stayed back in Jerusalem.
When his parents couldn't find him for three days, they returned to Jerusalem
to look for him. They found him in the temple courts, sitting among the
teachers, listening to them and asking questions. His mother said to him,
"Son, why have you treated us like this?
Your
father and I have been anxiously searching for you. Jesus asked them, why were
you searching for me? Didn't you know I had to be in my Father's house? Then,
He went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them." Lk 2:41-52.
But later in life, though He still honored his parents, He obeyed his heavenly
Father's will more than his parent's wishes. If Jesus, being God's son, obeyed
his earthly parents, should we not obey and honor our parents?
III.
Christian Parents are commanded to raise children in God's ways.
Vs. 24, "Fathers, do not exasperate your
children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the
Lord." "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring
them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." NASB
Raising children in the
ways of God is a command for every Christian parent. It takes both mother and
father to instruct, train, and discipline children so that, hopefully, they
will grow up to be men and women of God. Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train up a
child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he will not depart from it."
Proverbs 13:24, "Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one
who loves their children is careful to discipline them."
This careful discipline
and instructions must begin at a very early age. Parents, you would only have
five years before your child starts to talk back and become defiant. In the
name of love and wanting to be friends with their children, modern-day parents
abdicate their God-given responsibility and let their children get away with
any and everything. In certain states, laws prevent Christian parents from
exercising their responsibility of raising them in God's ways.
Christian parents are
warned to exercise wisdom while raising their children. Paul's instructions to
parents, "Do not exasperate your children; "do not provoke your
children to anger." In what ways might parents provoke their children to
anger? 1. Excessive punishment for a minor mistake. My Dad beat me up for
losing a toy. 2. Unwise comparison of your child's IQ with others. (My Dad
frequently compared me with my older brother).
3. Showing favoritism
among children. 4. Broken promises. 5. Being too busy for your children. 6.
Punishing or ridiculing your children in front of others. 7. Losing your temper
and lashing at your children. Christian parenting is a tremendous responsibility.
Let us ask God to give us wisdom so that we can bring up our children in the
ways of God.
